(with apologies to John Cooper Clarke)

I’ve seen the poison letters of the unionist hacks
About the yellow peril and the reds and the blacks
And the SNP and its treacherous acts
Empire two point zero pap
I’ve seen the whole defence of Brexit mess
But I’ve never seen an advert in the Daily Reckless

I’ve seen satire sites taking the piss
Undermined by the advertisers’ kiss
It’s been the ruin of many good pages
I’ve seen many die in recent ages
They’ve tried to give me grief and stress
But you’ll never see an advert in the Daily Reckless

Pop up boxes pleading BUY
Weary punters screaming WHY
Funny websites with demands
Go here, click me. I ‘ll wash my hands
In the grim pursuit of happinesss
You’ll never see an advert in the Daily Reckless

So many papers fawning and twee
At the feet of smirking celebrity
Where JK Rowling meets Piers Morgan
Again and again and again and again
I’ve seen millionaires saying know your place
But I’ve never seen an advert in the Daily Reckless