“Please! After the 20th October, do not send fan mail to any address that you have. Nothing will be signed after the 20th October.”

Dear Ringo
Won’t you come out to play?
Worrabout a game of bingo
On Saturday
It’s a national super jackpot day
They’ve got a million quid to give away
Hey Ringo
I could get you in for a pound

A pound, a pound, a pound, a pound…

“Steady now. Steady! Go on! Go on! Alright, alright, don’t fuss. Alright, don’t fuss.”

Dear Thomas
I won’t come out to play
I don’t like bingo
I think it’s a bit gay
In a naff sort of way, y’know?
What chance have I of getting a line
I can’t even play the drums in time
Thanks for asking anyway
“Peace and love. Peace and love!”
Now get stuffed, eh?
Hey, Thomas
Did you say a pound?

Yeah. A pound, a pound, a pound, a pound…

“Alright, alright, don’t fuss. Alright, alright, don’t fuss. I’m warning you with peace and love, I have too much to do. No more fan mail. Thank you, thank you.”

“That was funny. That was funny! Goodbye!”

“Peace and love. Peace and love! I’m warning you with peace and love, I have too much to do. No more fan mail. Thank you, thank you.”

“Thomas shut his eyes. I must stop!”

“There watching him was the fat controller.”