Ophelia, you’re breaking the sky
You’re making John Redwood more scary
Oh, Ophelia, you made the sun red
Wood John be more dead than alive if he tried

The weather bods are getting uptight
Remember Storm Doris – that was shite
But we can aw brag
We survived Hurricane Bawbag

Ophelia, you’re just a wee puff
We’ve aw had enough – geez a break now
Oh, Ophelia, I’m no on ma knees
I’m begging you please that’ll dae – that’ll dae

from the album Slime Of The Times by Half Bam Half Whisky