I just don’t know what to do with my cock
I don’t know what to do with my cock
Jesus Christ give me a clue
I have tried following you
And the Pet Shop Boys too

I just don’t know what to do with my cock
I don’t know what to do with my cock
The Bible isn’t very clear
Is it down to Luke I fear
Matthew, Mark or John?
What do I do with my dong?

I need to know when
To be a Lib Dem
Politics and faith
I cannae do baith

I just don’t know what to do with my cock
I don’t know what to do with my cock
I don’t know if it’s a sin
To put out or to give in
God, give us a clue
I just don’t know what to do

from the album Slime Of The Times by Half Bam Half Whisky