OK boys, give us one of them Reporting Scotland couthy, homely wee country vibes
Haud oan to yer Auntie Beeb’s pinny

Ah wella everybody’s seen Jackie Bird
Bird, Bird, Bird Jackie Bird
Look at yersel, hen, have a word
Bird, Bird, Bird Jackie Bird
It’s the 21st century, haven’t you heard?
Bird, Bird, Bird Jackie Bird
We’re forging on, you’re George the Third
Bird, Bird, Bird Jackie Bird
Backward looking Labour nerd
SNP bad – change the record
Bird, Bird, Bird Jackie Bird
Bird, Bird, Bird Jackie Bird

Jackie Bird…abrrrrblblagghbbbll….

Papapapapap patronise pa pa patronise

Bird, Bird, Bird Jackie Bird
Smug, New Labour turd
Living in a parallel universe
Where Gordon Brown growls
The Queen just purred

from the album The Island Of Dr Moreau – The Musical