So hard to find the inspiration
To say 100,000
And try to sound as if you really care
And your jokes don’t make me laugh
They only make me feel like dying
and in an unguarded moment…

So long, long between mirages
You’ll always find me drinking
At least Ken Dodd always combed his hair
To sing a sad song*
But you only make me feel like drinking
and in an unguarded moment…

So deep, deep without a meaning
Unmoving, ungrieving
Mumbling insincerity and lies
And your words, puffed up PR
They only make me feel like seething
In an unguarded moment

Don’t come back to Scotland
cos in an unguarded moment
On your non essential journey…

And in an unguarded moment
On your non essential journey…

 

*thanks to Louis Barfe @AlanKelloggs for this line
with apologies to The Church