I get so drunk I don’t know who I’m voting for
I’m plastered in the polling booth and pissing on the floor
I appreciate it’s probably against electoral law
But I get so drunk I don’t know who I’m voting for

There’s a blue one and a red one and a yellow one as well
I think there is an orange and a purple? Who can tell?
Whoever gets my cross it’s just a case of sheer blind chance
It’s a wonder I don’t turn up in my underpants

Why can’t you be like me?
Why can’t we all agree?
Why don’t you hate who I hate,
Vote for the wasted party

Have the Russian cyber hacks put bugs in Labour’s bacon rolls?
Who the hell let Swinson near the graphs and near the polls
Who put the radge in Nigel Farage? Show Boris the back door
I get so drunk I don’t know who I’m voting for

I just don’t bloody care
I’ve had enough I swear
I’ll vote for anyone
Who gets along with Eddie Mair

Why don’t you all bog off?
Especially that toff
You’re a nasty piece of work aren’t you?
Where’s that woman with the cough?

That one who was stable and strong
And that David Cameron
I’ve got to see a man about a pig
Hold my beer, son

I just don’t give a toss
Who gets my bleeding cross
Who are the raving loony party these days?
Is it Bros?