There was a wee butcher who lived in Fife,
Nickety, nackety, noo, noo, noo,
One day he got the fright of his life,
Hey willy wallachy, are you James Melville
I love your twitter feed, roo, roo, roo.

He said what you’re doing is amazing
Nickety, nackety, noo, noo, noo,
I love yer feed, keep going,
Hey willy wallachy, are you James Melville
I love your twitter feed, roo, roo, roo.

This sort of thing is happening a lot now.
Nickety, nackety, noo, noo, noo,
Discombobulating and heartening
Hey willy wallachy, are you James Melville
I love your twitter feed, roo, roo, roo.

Everyone knows me now I’m on the socials
Nickety, nackety, noo, noo, noo,
I’m constantly trolled, even in my local
Hey willy wallachy, are you James Melville
I love your twitter feed, roo, roo, roo.

There was a wee butcher who lived in Fife,
Nickety, nackety, noo, noo, noo,
One day he got the fright of his life,
Hey willy wallachy, I am James Melville
I love my twitter feed, roo, roo, roo.