The sea is closed, so I can’t afford
To wade in on my paddle board
I am the kind of guy
Who makes up shit like that
Oh, oh

I’m a foreign secretary who doesn’t have a clue
I have a lame excuse for all the cock ups that I do
I am the kind of guy who fucks up just like that
Oh, oh

The sea is closed but I’m holding on
I call a pee a number one
Number one, number one