I spy with Grant Shapps’ eye
Something beginning with lorry driver
He’s Dutch, he’s had enough
Radio 4 say it’s just too much
Grant Shapps, Grant Shapps, Grant Shapps!

Grant Shapps clap your hands, clap ’em on a Thursday night
That’s right.
Grant Shapps, clasp your hand. Cross it over your eye.
Over your Shapps’ eye.
Grant Shapps, clap your hands, maybe get the army in
To help you out
Grant Shapps, clap your hands, slap your thighs and sing a little song.

My mummy told me, if I was goody
That I would be transport secretary
I changed my ID to be Michael Green,
Sebastian Fox and Corinne Stockheath

By the way, Radio 4
I deal language left and right
I’ll say shit and I’ll say shite
You don’t have a monopoly
On how to speak, stuff your RP

I deal language, I deal language…