My name’s Jean Paul Saltire, I’m angsty and tight
Like a moderator on The Guardian website
Hell is other people and I should know
This is my father Plato

Hi, I’m Karl Marx, I wrote Das Kapital
This is Engels – he’s my pal
We’re equally distributing wealth and ideals
Through the medium of burger vans and meals on wheels
We do good deals

Philosophy – it isn’t tough
Come and have a go if you’re Kierkegaard enough

I’m Socrates, I’m for free will
And a midfield wizard for Brazil
This is a utulitarian and liberal
My son-in-law John Stuart Mill

My name’s Zeno, I tore time apart
and this is my sister René Descartes
We thought, therefore we are, so there
We’ll speak in Latin cos we don’t care
And those are our contestants

Philosophy – it isn’t tough
Come and have a go if you’re Kierkegaard enough
Let’s play Pointless – we know our stuff
Everything’s a game when you philosophise like us

 

from the album Pointless by Jean Paul Saltire. 

 

see also:

I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Get Vaxxed)

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