Rubbing myself with filthy headlines
Preparing an online diatribe
Spoonfeed me delicious made up outrage
Make me feel alive

Anger me! Sully my childhood memories!
More upset! MORE!

Culture wars and culture bores
Fighting imaginary wars
Each side suckered in by each
Nouveau brain dead nouveau riche

Are you so bland you cannot see
Or think or hear yourself
Roy Rogers and trigger me
Put that book back on the shelf
Shut down the bloody internet

inspired by this tweet from @IAmHappyToast