I’m late, I’m late, I’m very tardy
I’m chappin’ at heaven’s gate for the party
I’ve been beaten up by Laurel and Hardy

In heaven it’s a constant Mardi Gras
Everybody drinks Bacardi
I’ve got my best black and white cardigan

Come on up, be hale and hearty,
They’ve got an 80s room where they’re playing Sade
But nobody goes in there – we’re not clarty

So, I don’t want to be late for this show
Cos everybody’s there that everybody knows
It’s the one place where you can’t be fashionably early
The final party where the gates are pearly

Everybody’s late in Heaven