Youngsters celebrate the return of National Service

 

I have a double-barrelled name
To go with my double-barrelled sawn-off shotgun
And a double-breasted cardigan
To go with my double-fisted arsehole.

I am a posh cunt.

I like food that looks like gardens
I like women that look like calendars
And I like oysters merely because they’re expensive
And give me an opportunity to get my wad out.

The fact that they taste like halfway between
A rapist’s wallpaper paste and the raspy part of a
smoker’s lung
Makes no mention.

I like oysters because the world is mine
It’s my oyster because I fuck poor people.

words – Violet Malice
www.violetmalice.com

see also:

Posh People

Posh Twat In The Pig