Daily Reckless

O.C. Clause
(Mackay)

There's a man that everybody knows
He's famous for his reindeers and his ho ho hos
He lives in Lapland and he employs
Green wage slaves to make his toys
But they don't mind cos he's their mentor
And it's better than working in a call centre

He can't help it
He just can't help it
Obsessive, compulsive philanthropy
He can't help it
He just can't help it
He likes to give away stuff for free

He loves to dress in red and white
And he only ever goes out at night
Winter is his time of year
Spring and summer - he gets the fear
But the elves they love their spring break, maaan
They smear themselves in thick fake tan

What I don't get is who pays his wage
He's well past retirement age
And what will happen if he dies
Who's gonna drop the free stuff from the skies?

And I've tried to dance to jazz and hip hop
But I end up pogoing to Blitzkrieg Bop
I just can't co-ordinate my feet
To the complicated rhythm and the syncopated beat

 

(from the album Purple Reindeer)

 

Previously

My Beautiful Ninja
Her Lips Were Made to Kiss Megaphones
Where I Live
666 Great Junction Street
Joss
Hard Shoulder
Merciless Eyebrows
Sanity is not Statistical
Gie's Yer Jaiket
Middle-Management
I Fought the War (And the War Won)
Dead Cowboy
Carolyn Yes
Chris's House
Hungover and Out
Match Steward
Inscrutable Coupon
The Day We Went To See They Might Be Giants
Michael Cade
Orang Utan
Jesus Hates Me
The Leith Police Dismisseth Us
The Butcher
Zoo Suits
Beyoncé is my Fiancée
That's George Galloway, Son
Of Mince and Men
(Do the) Leith Walk
Bute House Sycophants
Wetherspoons Nights
The Rainbow Song
The Bar is High
WTFAYBOA
Pink Floyd Are Shit
Lost in Franz Ferdinand
Zoinks! A Tenner
Central Belt Blues
Dead Funny
God in a Box
There Was A Rock Critic
Rowche Rumble
Bingo Master's Breakout
Touch Sensitive
Kurt Cobana
Delete As Applicable
When Not To Talk
Panto
Radio Reckless
300 Words
Ad Lib
Don't Involve Yourself
The Sound of Music Falling Apart
Itchy Feet
Rainy Friday
Kill Together
The Plagiarist
It's a Long Way Back to Beethoven
Who Takes The Blame
Please Pass The Milk
I Hear The Wind Blow
When It Wants
Mysterious Whisper
The Guy Who Hit Me In The Eye
New Friend
Heimlich Manoeuvres in the Dark
The Frosty Snowman
Hey! Student
Cindy Tells Edinburgh Man
The Littlest Rebel
Living Too Late
Jawbone and the Air Rifle
Do Not Drink The Tennents
Everything Is Catching On Fire
Rock JD
I Don't Understand You
Darkened Corridors
King of the Swingers
Fuck This Shit
Wherever's the Fuckin' Taxi, Cunt?
Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
Heaven
Flesh Number One (Beatle Dennis)
Listening To The Higsons
Bannockburning
Stipetoe In The Rain
Daz For Dania
Mouldy Old D'Oh
Lady McCartney
Tangled Up In Blue
99% of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd
There She Goes
Lashed Christmas


The top 10

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