MUSIC

MONARCHY MASH
(Mackay)

Well I was walking down Pall Mall the other night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
I thought it was one of the undead
But it was Mohammed Al Fayed

He said, 'Oi you!'
I said, 'Who, me?'
He said, 'I am not zombie,
Come with me and you will see The real Royal Family.'

So he took me by the arm, which I thought was rather gallus
And we climbed over the fence at Buckingham Place
And we stared through the windows for a very long time
Then we saw Prince Philip Frankenstein

He was stalking the corridors shouting, 'Girls' and 'Feck'
He had two big bolts sticking out his neck
He shouts, he swears, he burps, he farts, he
Goosesteps like a fucking nazi

Then Prince Harry, he bashes him
He's a dedicated follower of facsism
He's got a flag and a Kate Moss sticker
And an armband with a swastika

Along comes Queen Bess looking quite spectacular
Dripping blood like Countess Dracula
With all her corgis in single file
Being fed to the royal crocodiles

Looks like they're the monstrous fourth Reich
We should've listened to David Icke
Although he said they were all lizards
Or was that Eddie Izzard?

It's the Monarchy Mash
They caused that crash
Al Fayed thinks they're aw fash
ists

 

inspired by this news story

 

(from the album The New Sound)

Previously

My Beautiful Ninja Her Lips Were Made to Kiss Megaphones Where I Live 666 Great Junction Street Joss Hard Shoulder Merciless Eyebrows Sanity is not Statistical Gie's Yer Jaiket Middle-Management I Fought the War (And the War Won) Dead Cowboy Carolyn Yes Chris's House Hungover and Out Match Steward Inscrutable Coupon The Day We Went To See They Might Be Giants Michael Cade Orang Utan Jesus Hates Me The Leith Police Dismisseth Us The Butcher Zoo Suits Beyoncé is my Fiancée That's George Galloway, Son Of Mince and Men (Do the) Leith Walk Bute House Sycophants Wetherspoons Nights The Rainbow Song The Bar is High WTFAYBOA Pink Floyd Are Shit Lost in Franz Ferdinand Zoinks! A Tenner Central Belt Blues Dead Funny God in a Box There Was A Rock Critic Rowche Rumble Bingo Master's Breakout Touch Sensitive Kurt Cobana Delete As Applicable When Not To Talk Panto Radio Reckless 300 Words Ad Lib Don't Involve Yourself The Sound of Music Falling Apart Itchy Feet Rainy Friday Kill Together The Plagiarist It's a Long Way Back to Beethoven

Who Takes The Blame Please Pass The Milk I Hear The Wind Blow When It Wants Mysterious Whisper The Guy Who Hit Me In The Eye New Friend Heimlich Manoeuvres in the Dark The Frosty Snowman Hey! Student Cindy Tells Edinburgh Man The Littlest Rebel Living Too Late Jawbone and the Air Rifle Do Not Drink The Tennents Everything Is Catching On Fire Rock JD I Don't Understand You Darkened Corridors King of the Swingers Fuck This Shit Wherever's the Fuckin' Taxi, Cunt? Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Heaven Flesh Number One (Beatle Dennis) Listening To The Higsons Bannockburning Stipetoe In The Rain Daz For Dania Mouldy Old D'Oh Lady McCartney 99% of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd There She Goes Lashed Christmas O.C. Clause Nae Luck Everybody Parly and Happy Scary Burd Love Thy Violence Elected The First Minister's Dressing Gown Damaged Red Goods Thick Cunt Davie O'Hara Strange Behaviour Are You Being Served The Wright Stuff? I'm Free Range Aw Fuck, The Police! Abba Got Back Walking To Rehab The Day My Pad Went 9 to 5 Funktionality And Then? Funeral Flesh Accidental Lives Philosophy Alex Salmond

Archbishop Desmond Tutu Saviour Breath Big John Smeaton No More Smeaton Campbell's Sauce Noah Fucking Clue Jenny Says Where Seagulls Dare Night, Thriller and Death Wendy Alexander I'm The Manse Sic Transit Gloria Scotiae You Absolute Cunt The Thistle's Characteristics (Part 1) The Barren Tree We Don't Need To Share The Lavvy Let's Eat Greenhouse Girl The Magnificent Folk Song I Ride Bicycles Talk About September 11 The Curry Song Kayak Donald Trump King of the Swingers (Perjury Mix) Do The Loony Dook In Recognition (Sean Connery Mix) Hey Jude Law Jeremy Paxman No Cold Blooded Child Jocko Euro The Last Hi-Fidelity Dictator

The Top 20

 

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