Scotland Calling Scotland Calling

A Caledonian celebration.


KIKKA KEILIDH

Tillicoutry! Coming up!
In the gleaming warehouse at Tillicoutry
You can buy a sofa off of Dougie Donnelly
Archie Macpherson will teach you a lesson
In commentating, going woooof! No messin

I get good advice from the Sportscene world
Talk shite, wear Pringle
Talking balls and being really couthy
With cheese, more cheese

It's the baws they talk on the BBC
Players trying to be PC
Managers mumbling in a boring farce
You don't need match analysis, you need a rocket up the arse!

I get good advice from the Sportscene world
Talk shite, wear Pringle
Talking balls and being really couthy
With cheese, more cheese

Kikka Ceilidh commentating on the box
Taught in the school of hard John Knox
Dougie Vipond says it
Or reads it off the paper - he's lazy!
Where did Chic Young go?
They're all old skool -I know
Maybe Barlinnie (he's been locked up for years)
And Arthur Montford!

At least on radio, you get Off The Ball
Tam Cowan and Stuart Cosgrove
Your lugholes feel like pinballs
And they talk a lot of pish
You're leaping from the windows-saying
Ayaiiiiirrrghhh! *@!!*@!!*!
Don't give me none of this!

I get good advice from the Sportscene world
Talk shite, wear Pringle
Talking balls and being really couthy
With cheese, more cheese
Hit the dick!


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