WHERE SEAGULLS DARE
(Mackay)
Sam the seagull stole some crisps
He had to get up early
Not to catch the early worm
But the curly wurly
He was partial to Doritos
Especially tangy cheese
But very quickly he progressed
To sushi - that's Japanese
Sammy is a seagull
He smokes 20 Regal
He knows that it's illegal
To nick stuff from the newsagents
So now he nicks from Lidl
Well soon he tired of junk food
And found he couldn't fly past
the off licence without swooping in
to swipe a bottle of Buckfast
Burds and booze and fags and sweets
It's not a healthy mix
Just say 'No', just say 'tweet'
Just say, 'Where's me Twix?'
He started puffing cannabis
just like our MPs do
He ran the country on a wing and a prayer
It was really quite a 'coo'
But just remember this, kids
before you go out nicking
Sam the seagull died last week
apparently he tastes like chicken
...and cheese
(from the album Runny Eggritte)
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