ANTHEA TURNER'S COCK
When I was young
I looked upon Blue Peter with bright eyes
But one day an incident left me traumatised
Anthea Turner was presenting an item on keep fit
She wore a tight tracksuit
I couldn't keep my eyes off it
What's that that I see down there?
In the gusset area
chorus
Is that a tampon or a rolled up sock?
No - it's Anthea Turner's cock
I swear to God that's what I saw
A lump I just could not ignore
I guess she has an ovary
She's married to Grant Bovey
Unless she is a beard as well
It's really hard these days to tell
chorus
My eyes, my eyes, my beautiful eyes
I'm permanently traumatised
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