August 2017

Bye Bye Kezia

Bye bye Kezia, Kezia goodbye (Bye bye Kezia) If she’d organised the Queensferry Crossing it’d be over the River Kwai (Bye bye Kezia) Kezia Dugdale – or is it Keezia? There’s no way to make…


Kez

Kez, I can almost remember the Labour Party That time you told them that you wanted autonomy And Kez I thought the only lonely place was in your head Kez is your father as bold…


It’s Mustard, Richard. Mustard

I’ve been flying Virgin Airlines I really am disgusted What’s this yellow stuff on my plate? It’s mustard, Richard. Mustard! It’s making me feel faint It’s holding the meat to ransom I’m writing a letter…


Jeremy Corbyn’s Beard

Hi my name is Steve And I’m the beard Of Jeremy Corbyn You might think it weird The fight starts here Or at least tomorrow morning The revolution will not be televised But it will…


The Half Man Half Biscuit Song

  This is not a love song, it’s more of a rant About a bloke who applied for a government grant To try to get a crowd to chant Half Man Half Biscuit If you…


New Scotland

  I was fifty years when I wrote this song I’m still fifty now but I won’t be for long People ask me when will you grow up to be a man But I still…


Uranium

Reality stars directing our fate and we’re praying it’s not too late Uranium Raving psychosis and whispering kittens Bright orange coupon and Mexican mittens You all know what uranium is Nuclear weapons and other bad…