Cover of the Half Man Half Biscuit festive classic.

 

Now how did I guess
You were going to express
Your disdain at the crane
With the bright fairy lights
And you’d moan at the snow
‘Cos your car wouldn’t go
Oh it’s cliched
To be cynical
At Christmas

You don’t have a tree
And your smile has a fee
All the same, here’s a card
For your boring façade
Jingle Bells, piney smells
All the boys and the girls
Say it’s cliched
To be cynical
At Christmas
Oh it’s cliched
To be cynical
At Christmas

See how we yawn
At your bile and your scorn
It’s a beautiful day
Peace on Earth has been played
Make a noise with your toys
And ignore the killjoys
‘Cos it’s cliched
To be cynical
At Christmas

Oh it’s cliched
To be cynical
At Christmas

I saw three ships
Come sailing in
Come sailing in
Come sailing in
I saw three ships
Come sailing in
On Christmas Day
In the morning

from All I Want For Christmas Is A Torphichen Inn Away Kit EP by Half Bam Half Whisky.