In Scotland,  alcohol sales drop as the government’s minimum pricing bill kicks in. So here’s the song of the same name from the musical Oliver Pissed.

 

I wake up in the morning with a fire in my head
I wake up in the morning in somebody else’s bed
I wake up in the morning wrapped up in the Evening News
I wake up in the morning with vomit in my shoes

I wanna cheap laugh
I wanna cheap thrill
Not the alcohol minimum pricing bill

I wake up in the afternoon, I don’t know what to do
I wake up in the evening in Edinburgh zoo
I’m sleeping with the pandas, I’m sleeping with the monkeys
We’re all in this together, we’re all alcoholic junkies

I’m selling everything I’ve got, it’s in the pawn shop
And now I’m living on Edinburgh rock
I’m more like Johnny Thunders than Johnny Ramone
Just want them to leave the price of booze alone

Now I wanna sniff Irn Bru
Now I wanna have something to do
All you jakeys form a queue
I just wanna sniff Irn Bru