January 2019

May’s Monkeys

  Here we come Walking down the street Our organ grinder is running Through a field of wheat Hey hey we’re her monkeys People say we monkey around We’re flinging shit at strangers And rampaging…


Cuntissentially Cuntish

Ooh baby life’s just chaotic The prime minister is robotic It’s cuntissentially idiotic Dumb, desperate and despotic Together whatever we recall now Cuntissentially means fuck all now Whatever mystery life’s about There’s no doubt we’ll…


Crush The Saboteurs

Theresa laughs at the Daily Mail graphs She loves to be one of the girls She lives in the place in the side of our lives Where people love Olly Murs She turns herself ’round…


Girther

Now there’s a doctor – the best in the land His name is Ronny Jackson He says I have incredible genes It’s true – they make me look real slim I’m in great shape, svelte,…


The Wheel Is Older Than The Wall

  I know more about history than anyone So here’s a history class I’m gonna teach you a lesson Get medieval on your ass Before they invented rocks and stones Before they invented steel Cavemen…




Babybel’s Angels

  Some people say that Bristol councillors are yokels Lookin’ for to bring about a fast food ban As motorcycle gangs are terrorising locals After being fed cheese toasties from a van Lock up your…


Nobody Has More Brains Than Me

  Nobody has more brains than me It’s cos I scoop your skulls like a zeitgeist zombie Nobody has more brains than me I am the smartest fellah To never close an umberella ella I…


Indy Civil War

  When the janny comes cleaning up again – Hurrah! Hurrah! He’s coming with a bucket of sawdust yeah – Hurrah! Hurrah! Cos someone was sick on the battlefield The sweetcorn and vomit is congealed…