March 2019

Do The Zombie

Newsnight’s political editor, Nicholas Watt, quotes a cabinet minister, who, when asked why May is  pressing ahead with a vote she knows she’ll lose, answers: “Fuck knows. I’m past caring. It’s like the living dead…


Campbell’s Sauce

Alastair Campbell wrote saucy diaries Tony Blair gave good hair, His smile was better than Cherie’s And all the time Ali fancied Tony rotten, While trying to pretend that he was tough, The thing that…


Kezmania

Wotcha gonna do brother Wotcha gonna do When Kezmania runs wild on you Whoever thought reality Was important for an MSP Kezia Dugdale’s changed her tune From carping on the sidelines to howling at the…


We Have Blinked

  Goodbye EU mistrusted friend We’ve known each other since I was nine or ten Together we learned Portugese Learned of aubergines and cheese Fell on our arses and our knees I’ve read the bible…


Uri Geller

  Good evening Here’s a letter; In case you cannot read It’s from a fake illusionist to a fake delusionist Who’s not doing very well Oh well, his name is Uri Geller He’s such a…


A ‘B’ Road

Half Bam Half Whisky present a unique concept album following the progress of Nigel Farage and his mad March marchers as they travel from Wonderland to Lundun.  Never mind Abbey Road, here’s a ‘B’ Road….


Sensible Shoes

  Sensible shoes, people Sensible shoes We’ve got a lot of marching and protesting to do Sensible shoes, people Sensible shoes It will be nourishing for our souls, so make sure your soles are new…


These Boots Won’t Get To Woking

  You keep saying you got something for us Something called Brexit but confess You just keep sayin’ Brexit means Brexit And no-one knows what is coming next These boots won’t get to Woking Never…


Making Placards For Nigel

  We’re all making placards for Nigel We’re marching cos we’re mad as hell We’re all wearing flat caps for Nigel Nigel’s fucked off to a hotel And if our Nigel says he’s happy He…