100 People
We asked 100 people to name as many ways to live their life by They were gripped with the fear of existence No-one knows why There are people that count Every single amount Of everything…
May 2019
The Age Of Reason
People say there’s a little yellow idol To the north of Kathmandu What they don’t say is I’m feeling suicidal Social media is my new glue So take a good look at my selfie My…
Pointless – the album
When Jean Paul Saltire becomes a contestant on Pointless, the result is… nausea. The most joyfully depressing album you will ever hear… Get it here:
The Vilest Nihilist
There’s a voice that keeps on calling me In my head – that’s where I live you see Every thought I have don’t matter a jot Whatever I say I am, that is what…
Dedicated Follower Of Fascism
They seek him here They seek him there From Buckingham Palace To Leicester Square Everyday he goosesteps round the gardens of Buck House Cos he’s a dedicated follower of fascism Oh yes he is, oh…
Shove Yer Subtly Nuanced Ironic Wit Up Yer Arse. Sideways.
You don’t get it You don’t get it You don’t get it You don’t get it Fuck bollocks shit
Stuck In Scotmid
As it is revealed that free cash machines are vanishing at an alarming rate, we remember the day an ATM in Dundee started spitting out double money… Well I don’t know why I came…