July 2019

Telt!

  Telt, he needed telling Telt, he’s such a bellend Telt, you know he needed telling, telt When Boris Johnson came up to Edinburgh He thought he’d pop along to Bute House to see Nicola…


The Laughing Nob

  I was watching bloody Newsnight, When I saw a Billy Bunter And he was a little old man ([Hello!]) In drab black and gray, chuckling away Well he trotted out the usual As he…


I Am The Boris

  Coup! Coup! Thur’s been a coup In yonder Westminster, a cunt’s Who’s Who It hasnae moved cos it’s still there noo I am the Boris goo ga choob Dorries is in rude health Every…


Union Jack

  Alister Jack is the new Scottish Secretary He is even more Tory than Bryan Ferry He’s got 1200 acres – he isn’t sharing In Dumfries and Gallowahey – he isn’t caring He flies the…


Hot Take

  Well I’ve seen the latest news and I’ve got a point of view ahaha The Labour manifesto is like the 70s oh what a laugh T.Rex in the charts and we all read Karl…


Crazy Boris (Approaching Menace version)

I added ‘Approaching Menace’ (the Mastermind theme tune) to the start of this version of Crazy Boris because well…   There’s an arsehole with floppy hair Yes, it’s Boris Johnson, he was London Mayor He’s…


Arse

An album of songs about Boris Johnson. Track listing: This Charmless Man Gammon People Boris Is A Lying Cunt Brexit And America Crazy Boris Kim Darroch We Have Blinked Bendy Bus Boris Brexit Clown Boris…



It’s A Wonderful Fife

As Sir Paul McCartney reveals he is writing a stage musical of It’s A Wonderful Life, we remember the seminal Scottish version from 2012. The full album is available for free download here but here’s…


Gammon People

  lyrics – Matthew Hankins He went up to Oxford with a thirst for knowledge He studied Classics at Balliol College That’s why I Caught his eye He told me that his dad was loaded…