August 2019

The Last Fish Supper

As Anstruther Fish Bar wins the best chip shop in Scotland award, we remember that time we enjoyed a religious experience with a fish supper in Fife. I was lost in Fife I was fearful…


Denmark – Dental Care

by The Flasks   Brush Brush Brush Kill that plaque With a brush attack Brush Brush Brush Say no way To tooth decay Floss Floss Floss Dig out, defeat That unfinished sweet Smile Smile Smile…


Fist Pumping With IDS

I want to relieve my stress (Fist pumping with IDS) Oh Gideon, Gideon, yes, yes, yes! (Fist pumping with IDS) Let’s get fiscal, let’s undress (Fist pumping with IDS) I wanna lick your Eton Mess…


When Mark E Smith Met Matt Berry

pic: Pamela Vander Black Paternoster from the album The Gospel According to Matt, Mark, Luke and John. Listen here Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, Bless the bed that I lie on. Four corners to my…


Imposter Syndrome

  In the midst of our own Pointless ruminations, we welcome the First Minister’s acceptance of her existential crisis through the medium of Bowie… Sartre takes a cigarette, puts it in his mouth He ponders…


Stockpiling My Beans For You

  A few stolen doughnuts is all that we see You’ve got a brand new can of corned beef and I’ve got a brand new key Though I’ve tried to resist putting tripe on the list And…


Brexit Clown

  I sing the national anthem To remind me of the empire When we waived the rules With servants and slaves. Sing God Save The Queen and try to not sound sour… Hope that God…


Cockney Brexit Knees Up

  Back to the Troubles with the old backstop And cry boys cry Don’t let your joy and laughter put you off Why oh why oh why What’s the use of good friday It never…


Ça Ne Plane Pas Pour Nous

by Biodegradable Polymer Bertrand   Wham bang Mon chat “Splash” gite sur mon lit a bouffe Oui we’ll superglue us all onto Tous le judges Oo wee ooh ooh Extinction Rebellion Allez oop un matin…


Thicker Than Lulu

  Wehhhhhhhlllllll…. I was minding my business Tousling my hair Then I decided to run the country It was worthwhile living a laughable life To set my eyes on that glittering prize Cos I’m thicker…