Imposter Syndrome
In the midst of our own Pointless ruminations, we welcome the First Minister’s acceptance of her existential crisis through the medium of Bowie… Sartre takes a cigarette, puts it in his mouth He ponders…
August 2019
Stockpiling My Beans For You
A few stolen doughnuts is all that we see You’ve got a brand new can of corned beef and I’ve got a brand new key Though I’ve tried to resist putting tripe on the list And…
Brexit Clown
I sing the national anthem To remind me of the empire When we waived the rules With servants and slaves. Sing God Save The Queen and try to not sound sour… Hope that God…
Cockney Brexit Knees Up
Back to the Troubles with the old backstop And cry boys cry Don’t let your joy and laughter put you off Why oh why oh why What’s the use of good friday It never…
Ça Ne Plane Pas Pour Nous
by Biodegradable Polymer Bertrand Wham bang Mon chat “Splash” gite sur mon lit a bouffe Oui we’ll superglue us all onto Tous le judges Oo wee ooh ooh Extinction Rebellion Allez oop un matin…
Fuck Me, I Should’ve Stayed In Shoreditch
I was walking down Princes Street one day When I looked up I saw the rain Fuck me – I should’ve stayed in Shoreditch* I’m at the Edinburgh Festival Trying to avoid the horrible…
Shorting The Pound
He looks us in the eye and insists this is new money His office briefs the press that this is new money But the ‘new money’, of course, is a scam The barefaced lies…
Back Door Boris
Back Door Boris, Back Door Boris He isn’t quite sure what a front door is They let him in the front To see his cabinet of cunts But then they chuck him out of…