Laura got a tory nut, she bought him for a line
Peston had another one, he paid for all the time

She put a lie on the internet, she made it all up
While another guy asked Boris to look at a photograph
‘You’ve put my phone in your pocket, Prime Minister’
‘You’ve put my phone in your pocket,’ it isn’t sinister
Oh no

Laura, can you add an extra spin?
I say Laura, to put the blame on Corbyn
I say Laura, fact check your messages
I say Laura, they’re nationalising sausages

Now lemme get this straight
You put a lie on the internet, you made it all up
Or did you get a tip off from Matt Hancock?
‘You’ve put my phone in your pocket, Prime Minister’
‘You’ve put my phone in your pocket,’ it isn’t sinister
Oh no

Laura, can you add an extra spin?
I say Laura, to put the blame on Corbyn
I say Laura, fact check your messages
I say Laura, they’re nationalising sausages

You put a lie on the internet, you and Peston together
Put a lie on the internet and you’ll feel better
Put a lie on the internet, drink a bot up
Put a lie on the internet and call it journalism

Woo-oo-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
Woo-oo-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
Woo-oo-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

Oh Laura
You just make things up
Then you say sources, Laura
Sources, Laura
Wild sources
Your senior sources

Laura waiting on her mobile phone
Laura waiting for the phone to ring

Oh Laura
There’s been a punch up
Make sure you punch down, Laura
Punch down, Laura
Punch down
There’s been a punch up

Laura tweeting from her mobile phone
Laura waiting for the phone to ring

“Hello, Dom here
Here’s the party line, dear
Just say grim encounter”

Oh Laura (Boris here)
You made me stand up
You made me sit down, Laura
Sit down, Laura
Sit down
You make me stand up

Laura I’d stand in Gateshead for you
Oh my love that I own
Oh my love that I own

Laura waiting on her mobile phone
Laura waiting for the phone to ring

Oh Laura
Oh Laura
Oh Laura
Oh Laura
Laura I love you