I went down to the museum,
To try and expand my cultural horizons,
They had an exhibition on Gardeners’ World
With lots of sound advice about what fertilizer
Is best for growing your herbaceous border
But then I saw some stuff that was right out of order
A flouncy dress worn by Charlie Dimmock
I said ‘I don’t think that is very relevant for this exhibit’
Splinters retrieved from Tommy Walsh’s arse
What’s that got to do with the price of parsnips?
Then I saw a bit of cloth – Uniglo
And I thought, ‘Here we go’
Sitting on display beside a cucumber
Only an Alan Titchmarsh jumper
Titchmarsh jumper
Titchmarsh jumper
Titchmarsh jumper
Titchmarsh jumper

Sitting on display beside a cucumber
Only an Alan Titchmarsh jumper
Titchmarsh jumper
Titchmarsh jumper
Titchmarsh jumper
Titchmarsh jumper
Oh no no
Cabinet display, go, go, go
Next to a cucumber, oh no, oh no.

Reposted due to North Korea’s state television channel censoring a BBC gardening programme by blurring out presenter Alan Titchmarsh’s trousers.

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