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January 2007 Archive

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GORDON BROWN - HE'S A CLOWN (published 26 January 2007)

Kirkcaldy - hotbed of sexy economists, and Gordon Brown. Now, the man who would be PM gets the Reckless treatment, following his pathetic attempts to placate his English chums. Click here: Gordon Brown





I'M IN A CELLAR - GET ME OUT OF HERE! (published 26 January 2007)

Having set a new standard in celebrity status, Mairi Duncan from Dalkeith, famous for falling through an open pub cellar door, and thus qualifying for a spot on an American chat show, has revealed the full extent of the damage caused by her hilarious tumble. See Scotland's newest international superstar here: Dalkeith Disaster.




MAMAAAA - OOOH OOOH EE OOO (published 19 January 2007)

Following government advice to sing Happy Birthday twice when washing your hands, further instructions on how to sing Bohemian Rhapsody when crapping and Macarthur Park in the bath have been issued from the Home Alone Office.





DON'T LET THE SUN GO ANYWHERE NEAR ME (published 19 January 2007)

We are receiving reports that Elton John has lost all his hair again. Oh, and he's turned black too.






THICK CUNT (published 19 January 2007)

'Ah'm just a thick cunt fae the east end o' Glasgow,' boasts this charming chap captured on record for your listening pleasure/ discomfort. Thrill to the sound of the weegie banter right here: Thick Cunt (mp3, right click, save as...)





PRODUCT RECALL (published 12 January 2007)

Regular Reckless readers may recall the infamous MiShaPs CD issued from this very haberdashery in 2004 featuring a collaboration between the splendid wordage of Mr Robert McNeil and the musical twiddlings of Tommy Mackay. The manufacturer is now also recalling this product due to crimes against percussion and mixing. All owners of this flawed recording can now trade it in for the new, improved, remixed, remastered version with an abundance of additional goodies including Parly Mixtures and a new song, 'Scary Burd.' Get your new copies, completely free here: Mishaps Revisited



2007 - LICENSE TO CHILL (published 12 January 2007)

The government has launched a cheery new campaign to welcome everyone into the new year and boost our self esteem. Get used to it. We're doooooomed.




SALE SICKNESS (published 12 January 2007)

Furniture store adverts are making people ill, say health experts and couch potatoes across the land (of leather). Retailers HFS (Horrendous Fucking Settees) deny overloading viewers with New Romantic ex soapstars draping themselves smugly over garish tat. Speaking of which...




PLEASE END US (published 12 January 2007)

The BBC are understood to be bringing their tedious soap to an end by instigating a mass suicide plot line. The entire cast is expected to top themselves in a dramatic denouement to the dreary drama. It is understood that furniture stores are bracing themselves for the expected influx of grinning poltroons eager to advertise their wares.


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