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June 2007 Archive

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BLAIRY SPICE (published 28 June 2007)

Departed PM, Tony Blair, has announced his intention to join the reformed Spice Girls. 'It's not about the money, ' he insisted yesterday. 'It's about the burds.' Gordon Brown is not amused.




BROWN AND THE BAKERS (published 28 June 2007)

Gordon Brown has moved swiftly to establish the equal distribution of Scotch pies at branches of Greggs in England. 'For too long, the English have been deprived of this culinary masterpiece,' beamed the new PM yesterday, as he tucked into his third fudge doughnut.





GORDAFFI (published 21 June 2007)

After getting a knock back from Wing Commander Paddy Ashdown, Gelding Brawn, the new Prime Mincester has asked Colonel Gadaffi if he fancies a punt at Foreign Secretary. 'I heard he gives good wind,' pewked the Kirkcaldian Clown yesterday. He added, 'And oh, have you heard Tommy Mackay's tribute to me? It's really rather good. You can hear it here:' Gordon Brown.



BENT MANNING (published 21 June 2007)

Following the demise of the demon, the Reckless can now exclusively revive the biggest secret in comedy. Bernard Manning was homosexual.

The revelation, which has been well-known in showbiz circles for years, first came to light after Bernie's starring role in TV show The Entertainers where he pranced around in his underpants, gaining a huge cult gay following.

"Yes, yes, sweetie, it's true," he once gushed secretly to our reporter. "My surname is actually a verb. I've been 'manning' for years. A ha ha ha ha."

After running his finger along the top of a chair, complaining about "the muck in here" whilst pleading with our reporter to shut a door which was causing a draft, Manning continued:

"You see, I've been pre-postmodern ironic all along. It's just that some people have been too slow to catch on. You ask Frank Arsin'!"

(first published 11 January 2003)



NEW SINGLE - FREE! (published 14 June 2007)

The latest single from Tommy Mackay couples a deep meaningful dittie with an ode to the newest leader of Scotistan. You can get both these goodies here: Philosophy and here: Alex Salmond. Warning: may contain traces of puns





RICKY GERVAIS TO PLAY EDINBURGH (published 14 June 2007)

£37.50 a ticket, eh? What a cunt.


FERRY FRINGE (published 14 June 2007)

The hottest festival on the planet hit South Queensferry last week. Four days of comedy, music, exhibitions and much much more. The Daily Reckless editorium was in attendance throughout, making sure everyone was having fun...or else. See Ferry Fringe for details/photos etc. More photos by photographic marvel, Duncan Smith, here: Duncan's Photies.




TROLLS REVOLTING (published 7 June 2007)

Trolls across the country are said to be outraged following the SNP's decision to ban trolls at the Forth and Tay bridges. Shaggy Gnarledcrags, leader of the Trolls Union Congress growled, 'This is blatant trollism.' Meanwhile billy goats gruff were celebrating. 'Thanks to the SNP we can now cross Scottish bridges unhindered by the threat of troll abuse,' bleated spokesgoat William Munchstuff yesterday.




FINAL FOUL - FREE! (published 7 June 2007)

At last - the third and final Foul outing. A coming together of all those irresistible mashed up mixes, together with some rare live recordings and some never before heard tracks. A must for all Foul completists. Get it here: Foul Plagiarism





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