GORGEOUS GEORGE
AND MARXISM (published 3 May 2003)
Allegations that the government are using double agent Marxist spies in an attempt to silence bothersome MP George Galloway were strenuously denied this week by sources close to the Farce Minister. Meanwhile, George himself, after successfully blootering pie-eyed Ann Leslie in a previous bout, has announced his intention to take on Daily Telegraph editor, Charles Moore in a square go:
IRAQI BARGAIN
HUNTERS (published 10 May 2003)
Iraqis have finally settled on a new idol to revere who encapsulates their new found love of cheap western goods. Posters and statues of David Dickinson have been springing up all over the country. AGE WILL NOT
WITHER HIM (published 10 May 2003)
Oil of Olay are rumoured to be withdrawing from marketing Tony Blair as a role model after pictures emerged this week of the prim minister at his 50th birthday bash. ROSIE
BUD (published 17 May 2003)
News this week that SSP MSP Rosie Kane has been offered the lead in a remake of the classic Orson Welles masterpiece has caused tremors within the Scottish Parliament. DO THE CHARLTON
(published 17 May 2003)
The latest dance craze a-sweeping the nation, the Charlton, is literally driving the kids wild from Taunton to Tobermorie. CARRY ON MATRIX
(published 24 May 2003)
The latest episode in the Matrix sequence has caused a stir at the Cannes Film Festival by actually being a load of pish. WHAT A WRECK
(published 24 May 2003)
A ship uncovered on Kinghorn beach this week has revealed the damage inflicted by years of abuse through rum, sodomy and the lash. PERISHING PORN
PERVERT (published 31 May 2003)
Historic records have revealed that porn on the interweb has been rife since before the modern age of computer fiddling. ZIPPY STARDUST
(published 31 May 2003)
Former kiddies favourites, the Rainbow gang, have reformed as a tribute band to Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from...er...Rainbow.
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