Entertainment

She Adjusted My Ballcock

  I found her in the yellow pages Which I’m sure you will agree Is quite old fashioned in these daft ages She had a novel way to gain entry She climbed in through my…


Six Months Later – The Trailer

Six months after initial covid lockdown, and an idea dreamt up over a few pints in the pub comes to fruition. Imagine if Beatles songs were rewritten half a year after their original conception… Trailer…


I Am The Fly

After a fly on Mike Pence stole the VP debate, here’s a reminder of how Obama handled a similar situation:   Obama You’re in my sights, you think I’m confused But I’m waiting for the…



My Spreadsheet Is Full

  I’d like to set the records straight But the tables won’t participate They’re filling up and so am I My IT skills will not comply I’m only trying to track and trace But I…


Fuck Christmas

  Fuck Christmas and fuck Santa Clause I’m working my ass off and now the virus Has me and my hubby too Give me a fucking break and fuck the children too   from the…


I Wanna See A Great Tit

  Look closely at the tits on the picture. Well played. Here’s a song from Birdwatching For Punks to celebrate: 20, 30, 40, 50 sparrows to go I wanna see a great tit Not a…


Hurkle-Durkling

  Well, I’ve been hurkle-durkling It’s 18th century slang For lounging about/lying in bed Reading back copies of Kerrang Kerrang – get up Kerrang – get up I can’t be bothered, nah I’ll just lie…


Van Der Plague Generator

  When you don’t need an answer When you don’t need an answer When you don’t meet a chancer From over the Irish Sea came Van Plague Generating more conspiracy – plague came Plague came…


Six Months Ago

  Six months ago If I had troubles then I do not know Now it seems my brain got far too slow Oh, memory loss came … what’s the word? SUDDENLY … C-19, C-19…  …