Lockdown
Lockdown, lockdown If you’re losing the game And shifting the blame Don’t start crying You could still push ahead Or maybe instead You could be dying Playing a blinder There’s a sidewinder Behind you…
Entertainment
Absorbing The Greek
We’re all going to Greece on our holidays We heard it’s a riot out there Lots of sun but not much money Lots of broken earthenware I heard they don’t like the euro I…
Fairweather Bootlicker
He’s a fairweather bootlicker* Get it together dickhead, whoa He’s in love with Meghan Markle He don’t like his boring job, no He’s a fairweather bootlicker Get it together dickhead, whoa He’s in love…
Tabloid Beast
After his latest pantomime stunt, we look back at Piers on Desert Island Discs.
Pandemic Of Stupidity
There’s a pandemic of stupidity spreading throughout the land From government to banjo players and some football fans They’re all good clean Britishers abiding by the law Sticking up for freedom of speech and…
Handsome In The Half-Light
When I passed you in the bedroom You didn’t give me a second glance I should’ve kept my socks on Or at least my pants You don’t seem to notice me at all Whatever…
Pearl Clutchers
Pearl clutchers They are outraged and easily triggered Everything’s toxic Pearl clutchers God knows how they have lasted in this life My job is entertaining folks Singing songs and telling jokes And fucking swearing…
Awry
There was a time I looked up to people Then I grew up and looked down on people Then I thought everyone was equal Except you and you and you and you Now everything’s…
Squint
Lately, we’ve been going so crazy Lately, nothing seems to be going right So I just discovered a word I Never knew was just used in Scotland The word is squint, squint, squint Squint,…
Know Yer Rights
This is a public service announcement With guitar Know your rights All three of them Number one You have the right to call out pettiness Stupidity is a crime! Whether it is done By…