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April 2007 Archive

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HOOF HEARTED (published 27 April 2007)

To commemorate the passing of Boris Yeltsin, George Galloway and Tommy Sheridan yesterday re-enacted the famous 'Smell that, leader of the western world' scenario between the ex Russian leader and George Clinton.
(If you enjoyed this story, you may enjoy the tunes That's George Galloway, Son and King Of The Swingers - The Reckless, effortlessly linking the world)





FILTH OF FORTH (published 27 April 2007)

A controversial new bridge spanning the Forth was completed at the weekend. A spokeperson for FIFA (Forth Independent Faeces Authority), Jobby Rotten, said yesterday, 'I believe this to be a major contribution to road safety. I'd like to thank everyone in Edinburgh who helped lay this baby over the past few days. Would you like a clothes peg?'





SNP GO FOR YOUTH VOTE (published 27 April 2007)

(by Political Correspondent James Kelly)

Wee Eck and Nicky go full speed ahead for the young/confused/cross dressing/cross gender vote.





AND THEN...? (published 20 April 2007)

Now then ,now then, now then. Owzabout voting for none other than mister James Saville at the elections, guys and gals? James promises to talk inane drivel for hours on end, whilst praying no-one will dig into his murky past to unearth the many skeletons in his closet. The Reckless has produced a handy resumé in the form of a mashed up blend of Cockney Rebel's 'Mr Soft' and seminal movie masterpiece 'Dude, Where's My Car.' Hear his Partly Ridiculous Broadcast here: And Then? (mp3, right click, save as...)






IT'S THE BOMB! (published 13 April 2007)

The Reckless presents another outing by The Plagiarist - back with a whole new serving of mashed hot potatoes. An extravanganza of pop cultural references crossing all genres of music and all manner of bletherers. From Boris Karloff to Alan Sugar, X-Ray Spex to Amy Winehouse, the Plagiarist has them all. Get it here: It's The Bomb!




QUICK LOOKALIKEY (published 20 April 2007)

Ann Widdecombe (Ponch from CHIPS) and Erik Estrada. Scary.





BEAVER'S BODYGUARDS (published 13 April 2007)

After the capture in Perthshire of the "illegal" wild beaver, other beavers in the area have taken to hiring wallaby bodyguards to fend off further prospective hunters. Bertrand Beaver appeared at a press conference yesterday, with his brand new antipodean heavies looming menacingly behind him, to warn the public to, "Back off, or the trees get it!" A spokesperson for the beavers, Gnawman Mauler, added, "Dam you! Dam you all!"








INVISIBLE MAN FLIES IN (published 13 April 2007)

The Invisible Man flew into Edinburgh airport yesterday aboard Wonder Woman's invisible plane in an effort to highlight transparency in government in the run up to the Scottish elections.





THE JACK AND LEX SHOW (published 6 April 2007)

Kicking off the electioneering trail in high style, Jack is sporting the latest traditional 'Who's the Wally in the Kilt?' design by Teuchter and Shortbread, while the new slimline Alex cuts a dashing figure in a more radical creation by Tartan Vickers.







Placard manufacturers across the land are struggling to meet demand following the latest protesters protesting against the protesters protesting against the anti-nuclear protesters at Faslane. A spokesperson for the group, Faslane Anti Resident Troublemakers, Nimby Backpastures, said yesterday, 'We have decided to increase our protestations against the anti-protesters in an effort to bend the minds of everyone involved everywhere. It's about time somebody stood up for common sense and all that rubbish. This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill.'


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