Daily Reckless



I've been flying Virgin Airlines
I really am disgusted
What's this yellow stuff on my plate?
It's mustard, Richard. Mustard!

It's making me feel faint
It's holding the meat to ransom
I'm writing a letter of complaint
To Richard Branson

It's mustard, Richard. Mustard!
I'm really quite disgusted
Or maybe it is custard
I really am quite flustered
My poor old sense of taste
Has been radically adjusted
This yellow stuff on my plate
It's mustard, Richard. Mustard!

I'm used to haute cuisine
I am not a gadgy
What is this I see before me?
It's not an onion bahji

And when I saw my third course
My heart began to sag
It's a tiny piece of biscuit
In a crime scene specimen bag

I must have done something wrong to receive this meal
I must have died a thousand deaths until I couldn't feel


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The Reckless 50

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Walking To Rehab
The Day My Pad Went 9 to 5
And Then?
Funeral Flesh
Accidental Lives
Alex Salmond
Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Saviour Breath
Big John Smeaton
No More Smeaton
Campbell's Sauce
Noah Fucking Clue
Jenny Says
Where Seagulls Dare
Night, Thriller and Death
Wendy Alexander
I'm The Manse
Sic Transit Gloria Scotiae
You Absolute Cunt
The Thistle's Characteristics (Part 1)
The Barren Tree
We Don't Need To Share The Lavvy
Let's Eat
Greenhouse Girl
The Magnificent Folk Song
I Ride Bicycles
Talk About September 11
The Curry Song
Donald Trump
King of the Swingers (Perjury Mix)
Do The Loony Dook
In Recognition (Sean Connery Mix)
Hey Jude Law
Jeremy Paxman
No Cold Blooded Child
Jocko Euro
Monarchy Mash
Filling Out Forms
The New Sound
Bill Clinton's Havana
Hillary Clinton
Do The Necessary
I'm Dead
Hammer Time
John Prescott

Hughie Green's My Dad
David Icke & Tina Turner
Pond Life
Arthur Montford's Autograph
Britney's Got Tarrant
Whisky Galore In The Jar
Satan In The Body
Bye Bye Wendy
Mince & Tatties Qualitate
5000 Yobbos
I Can't Afford To Die Anymore
I Wish I Could Write A Serious Song
Egyptian Cream
March Of The Alcoholic Siamese Twins
Anything Ending With A 'Y'
To Be Frank
Perfect! Skint!
Alistair Darling
Crash Gordon vs Mandy
Dear Ringo
He's From Barcelona
A Frightfully Posh Halloween
Kerry Katona
The 80s
Forever In Hi-Vis
Charlie Is A Dalek
Thousands Of Racists Are Leaving Town
Float On (Pirate Mix)
Letter To Michael Jackson
No More Woolies
I'm Serious
Terrorist Medley
Only Shoes
King Of The Swingers (BB Edition)
Dedicated Follower of Fascism
Bendy Bus Song
Vatican Broadside (Treasury version)
Crazy Boris
Everybody's Heard About The Words

The Reckless 50

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