Daily Reckless



Well I was walking down Pall Mall the other night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
I thought it was one of the undead
But it was Mohammed Al Fayed

He said, 'Oi you!'
I said, 'Who, me?'
He said, 'I am not zombie,
Come with me and you will see The real Royal Family.'

So he took me by the arm, which I thought was rather gallus
And we climbed over the fence at Buckingham Place
And we stared through the windows for a very long time
Then we saw Prince Philip Frankenstein

He was stalking the corridors shouting, 'Girls' and 'Feck'
He had two big bolts sticking out his neck
He shouts, he swears, he burps, he farts, he
Goosesteps like a fucking nazi

Then Prince Harry, he bashes him
He's a dedicated follower of facsism
He's got a flag and a Kate Moss sticker
And an armband with a swastika

Along comes Queen Bess looking quite spectacular
Dripping blood like Countess Dracula
With all her corgis in single file
Being fed to the royal crocodiles

Looks like they're the monstrous fourth Reich
We should've listened to David Icke
Although he said they were all lizards
Or was that Eddie Izzard?

It's the Monarchy Mash
They caused that crash
Al Fayed thinks they're aw fash


inspired by this news story


(from the album The New Sound)


My Beautiful Ninja
Her Lips Were Made to Kiss Megaphones
Where I Live
666 Great Junction Street
Hard Shoulder
Merciless Eyebrows
Sanity is not Statistical
Gie's Yer Jaiket
I Fought the War (And the War Won)
Dead Cowboy
Carolyn Yes
Chris's House
Hungover and Out
Match Steward
Inscrutable Coupon
The Day We Went To See They Might Be Giants
Michael Cade
Orang Utan
Jesus Hates Me
The Leith Police Dismisseth Us
The Butcher
Zoo Suits
Beyoncé is my Fiancée
That's George Galloway, Son
Of Mince and Men
(Do the) Leith Walk
Bute House Sycophants
Wetherspoons Nights
The Rainbow Song
The Bar is High
Pink Floyd Are Shit
Lost in Franz Ferdinand
Zoinks! A Tenner
Central Belt Blues
Dead Funny
God in a Box
There Was A Rock Critic
Rowche Rumble
Bingo Master's Breakout
Touch Sensitive
Kurt Cobana
Delete As Applicable
When Not To Talk
Radio Reckless
300 Words
Ad Lib
Don't Involve Yourself
The Sound of Music Falling Apart
Itchy Feet
Rainy Friday
Kill Together
The Plagiarist
It's a Long Way Back to Beethoven
Who Takes The Blame
Please Pass The Milk
I Hear The Wind Blow
When It Wants
Mysterious Whisper
The Guy Who Hit Me In The Eye
New Friend
Heimlich Manoeuvres in the Dark
The Frosty Snowman
Hey! Student
Cindy Tells Edinburgh Man
The Littlest Rebel
Living Too Late
Jawbone and the Air Rifle
Do Not Drink The Tennents
Everything Is Catching On Fire
Rock JD
I Don't Understand You
Darkened Corridors
King of the Swingers
Fuck This Shit
Wherever's the Fuckin' Taxi, Cunt?
Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
Flesh Number One (Beatle Dennis)
Listening To The Higsons
Stipetoe In The Rain
Daz For Dania
Mouldy Old D'Oh
Lady McCartney
99% of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd
There She Goes
Lashed Christmas
O.C. Clause
Nae Luck Everybody
Parly and Happy
Scary Burd
Love Thy Violence
The First Minister's Dressing Gown
Damaged Red Goods
Thick Cunt
Davie O'Hara
Strange Behaviour
Are You Being Served The Wright Stuff?
I'm Free Range
Aw Fuck, The Police!
Abba Got Back
Walking To Rehab
The Day My Pad Went 9 to 5
And Then?
Funeral Flesh
Accidental Lives
Alex Salmond

Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Saviour Breath
Big John Smeaton
No More Smeaton
Campbell's Sauce
Noah Fucking Clue
Jenny Says
Where Seagulls Dare
Night, Thriller and Death
Wendy Alexander
I'm The Manse
Sic Transit Gloria Scotiae
You Absolute Cunt
The Thistle's Characteristics (Part 1)
The Barren Tree
We Don't Need To Share The Lavvy
Let's Eat
Greenhouse Girl
The Magnificent Folk Song
I Ride Bicycles
Talk About September 11
The Curry Song
Donald Trump
King of the Swingers (Perjury Mix)
Do The Loony Dook
In Recognition (Sean Connery Mix)

Hey Jude Law

Jeremy Paxman
No Cold Blooded Child
Jocko Euro
The Last Hi-Fidelity Dictator

The Top 20


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