CAMPBELL'S SAUCE
(Mackay)

Alastair Campbell wrote saucy diaries
Tony Blair gave good hair,
His smile was better than Cherie's
And all the time Ali fancied Tony rotten,
While trying to pretend that he was tough,
The thing that everybody has forgotten
Is that Alastair just loved a bit of rough,
For him, John Prescott was not enough

Alastair didn't care if his mission failed
As long as he saw Tony naked reading the Daily Mail.
He helped him with his loofah every bathtime
He told him where to scrub and just how hard,
He sold his arse and soul for twenty Woodbine,
He said 'Make it so,' just like Jean-Luc Picard
He fucked Mandelson, the BBC and Scotland Yard

 

 

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(from the album Idiopathic Hypergraphia)

 

Previously

My Beautiful Ninja Her Lips Were Made to Kiss Megaphones Where I Live 666 Great Junction Street Joss Hard Shoulder Merciless Eyebrows Sanity is not Statistical Gie's Yer Jaiket Middle-Management I Fought the War (And the War Won) Dead Cowboy Carolyn Yes Chris's House Hungover and Out Match Steward Inscrutable Coupon The Day We Went To See They Might Be Giants Michael Cade Orang Utan Jesus Hates Me The Leith Police Dismisseth Us The Butcher Zoo Suits Beyoncé is my Fiancée That's George Galloway, Son Of Mince and Men (Do the) Leith Walk Bute House Sycophants Wetherspoons Nights The Rainbow Song The Bar is High WTFAYBOA Pink Floyd Are Shit Lost in Franz Ferdinand Zoinks! A Tenner Central Belt Blues Dead Funny God in a Box There Was A Rock Critic Rowche Rumble Bingo Master's Breakout Touch Sensitive Kurt Cobana Delete As Applicable When Not To Talk Panto Radio Reckless 300 Words Ad Lib Don't Involve Yourself The Sound of Music Falling Apart Itchy Feet Rainy Friday Kill Together The Plagiarist It's a Long Way Back to Beethoven

Who Takes The Blame Please Pass The Milk I Hear The Wind Blow When It Wants Mysterious Whisper The Guy Who Hit Me In The Eye New Friend Heimlich Manoeuvres in the Dark The Frosty Snowman Hey! Student Cindy Tells Edinburgh Man The Littlest Rebel Living Too Late Jawbone and the Air Rifle Do Not Drink The Tennents Everything Is Catching On Fire Rock JD I Don't Understand You Darkened Corridors King of the Swingers Fuck This Shit Wherever's the Fuckin' Taxi, Cunt? Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Heaven Flesh Number One (Beatle Dennis) Listening To The Higsons Bannockburning Stipetoe In The Rain Daz For Dania Mouldy Old D'Oh Lady McCartney Tangled Up In Blue 99% of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd There She Goes Lashed Christmas O.C. Clause Nae Luck Everybody Parly and Happy Scary Burd Love Thy Violence Elected The First Minister's Dressing Gown Damaged Red Goods Thick Cunt Davie O'Hara Strange Behaviour Are You Being Served The Wright Stuff? I'm Free Range Aw Fuck, The Police! Abba Got Back Walking To Rehab The Day My Pad Went 9 to 5 Funktionality And Then? Funeral Flesh Accidental Lives Philosophy Alex Salmond

Archbishop Desmond Tutu Saviour Breath Big John Smeaton No More Smeaton

The Top 20

 

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