MUSIC
BILL CLINTON'S HAVANA
(Mackay)
On e-bay I got the box set of Alan Partridge and Quincy
And Bill Clinton's Havana as used on Monica Lewinsky
I shit you not, they DNA'd the president's saliva
And a lock of Keith Chegwin's pubic hair -
I got that for a fiver
Oh oh oh
So I had to try out my new purchase - Bill Clinton's Havana
I got myself two blow up dolls of Trinny and Susannah
But I made the classic mistake of lighting the cigar
Trinny went bang, Cheggers went pop, Partridge went, 'A-ha!'
Well there's plenty more where that came from - I was on the web for hours
I got that penis extension thing as used on Austin Powers
Not that I need to use it myself - there's nothing wrong with me
I've answered all those extension e-mails - I'm hung like a donkey
I bid for Ricky Gervais's ego and Russell Brand's charisma
And if I get them, I'll make your pathetic little lives even more abysmal
Cos I'll be even more self obsessed, or off my head on crack
I've got Princess Diana's hubcaps and a used noose from Iraq
The greatest hits of Dana covered by Banananarama
A tin of Instant Karma endorsed by the Dalai Lama
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(from the album We Mean Something)
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