Daily Reckless



This here's the story of Robert Holding, the 72 year old milkman from Burnley who supplied cannabis to pensioners from his milk van.

You could smell the sweet aroma
As the milk float trundled over
Most customers could see
Although some had glacoma
And he ambled into Fair View Road
His stash inside egg crates
His name was Boabie
And he drove the slowest milkcart in the west

Now Boabie loved his missus
But she didn't know what to do
The poor old dear had Alzheimer's
But she liked a toke or two
He said it helped relieve her pain
He was glad to supply her
And all the oldies on his milk round
They couldn't get much higher
Thanks to Boabie (Boabie)
And he drove the slowest milkcart in the west

Now Boabie supplied cannabis from his egg crates
He had packs of 3 and 20 grams
He'd even sell you an eighth
His oldest client was 92
It eased her aches and pains
Four pounds ten was all it cost
To rearrange her brains
And that tickled old Boabie (Boabie)
And he doped the oldest pensioners in the west

Now Boabie was arrested
And ended up in court
The defence pleaded for leniency
He said, 'The guy's distraught'
The judge was one Beverley Hunt
She had him on his knees
She really was a right old blunt
Justice of the Peace
She said, 'You're no philanthropist.
You took advantage of the weak.
Although £4.10 for an eighth
Is really very cheap.'
He got a 36 week sentence
Suspended for a year
Now he's working on an ice cream van
Selling wafers laced with beer
Good old Boabie (Boabie)
And he drove the wildest icy in the west

One day Boabie decided to up his game
He loaded up his ice cream van with a shipment of cocaine
But tragedy befell him when he didn't take a corner slow
The van upended and once again the streets were full of snow
Stupid Boabie (Boabie)
And he drove the slowest milkcart in the west


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