Get This Done
We’re rolling off a cliff So let’s get it over quick Get this done and move on, move on We’ll be smashed and bloodied But able to carry on Eh? You give me the…
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Mate, Shut Up
When Fabio Fognini met Andy Murray, it was ‘Mate, shut up!’ Please follow and like us:
Doing It With It
Ah look at all the lonely people Ah look at all the lonely people Doing it with it on a computer D’you know that it’s called CAD It’s in 3D They can build houses…
Boooooooooooooo!
Brand new Borrissey album out now. A criminal record to match his criminal record. Tracks: Thicker Than Lulu Axe Me Back Door Boris I Am The Boris Boos, Boris, It’s Boos Telt Shorting The Pound…
Brexit’s Yellowhammer
A political pundit met a physical Bullingdon bully Asking quite politely if they could read A summary So they printed a sterling work of literature Called Yellowhammer Six whole pages, without any pictures Oh,…
Coppers Got a Brand New GrabBag
Police Scotland have reassured the public by issuing this statement. Carry on: “September is preparedness month. Emergencies can happen at any time and it’s recommended to have a #GrabBag ready containing essential items including…
Prorogue Mahone
The minute you walked in the joint I could see you were a man of destruction A real bellender Bad lookin’ unrefined Say, wouldn’t you like to know what’s goin’ on in our minds?…
Thicker Than Lulu
Wehhhhhhhlllllll…. I was minding my business Tousling my hair Then I decided to run the country It was worthwhile living a laughable life To set my eyes on that glittering prize Cos I’m thicker…
Fuck Me, I Should’ve Stayed In Shoreditch
I was walking down Princes Street one day When I looked up I saw the rain Fuck me – I should’ve stayed in Shoreditch* I’m at the Edinburgh Festival Trying to avoid the horrible…
The Laughing Nob
I was watching bloody Newsnight, When I saw a Billy Bunter And he was a little old man ([Hello!]) In drab black and gray, chuckling away Well he trotted out the usual As he…