My Spreadsheet Is Full
I’d like to set the records straight But the tables won’t participate They’re filling up and so am I My IT skills will not comply I’m only trying to track and trace But I…
Features
Fuck Christmas
Fuck Christmas and fuck Santa Clause I’m working my ass off and now the virus Has me and my hubby too Give me a fucking break and fuck the children too from the…
Six Months Later
In a world where nothing is normal anymore, The Meatless have come back after six months in isolation to update some old tunes with original new (very short) versions. Track listing: Six Months Ago We’ve…
When Will I Be Ruth Davidson?
Yes, you’re suitably at one With The Scotsman and The Sun Yes, you are You’ve read Karl Marx And you’ve taught yourself to dance You’re the best by far But you keep asking the…
Lower Than The World
There are people dying We can’t go on Pretending day-by-day Lower than the world Lower than Europe Lower than the Death Star and entire galactic empire There’s a choice you’re making You’re not saving…
Modern Major Orator
I am the very model of a modern major orator I wiffle and I waffle – a great stammerer and stutterer I know the queen of England, and I quote Latin historical My verbal…
I Wouldn’t Touch A Russian With A Ten Foot Pole
I wouldn’t touch a Russian with a ten foot pole, Ten foot pole, ten foot pole I wouldn’t touch a Russian with a ten foot pole Nyet, nyet, nyet Well we published a report…
Chee Chee Chee
Fall drummer, Simon Wolstencroft has revealed that when he joined The Fall, Mark E Smith had written a Eurovision song. Imagine!? Well, I tried to. Using an instrumental outtake from the album Country On…
Save Live Comedy
Here’s 50 Comedians doing Gavin Webster’s Panda routine… British live comedy is in crisis – let’s #SaveLiveComedy Sign the open letter to the UK government & arts funders at http://savelivecomedy.co.uk Here’s the original…
Fucking Press Ups?
Press ups? Get down on your knees Ya pair of dungarees Fucking press ups? Get a grip ya twats Get some yoga mats Ya downward facing dogs It’s the terror of knowing these cunts…