Features

Saint Dolly

  words: mic wright – @brokenbottleboy ‘jolene’ and ‘i will always love you’ born on the same day 5,000 songs birthed the same way and all you can say is blonde hair and tits, had…


Gypsies, Ban Them Please

  I was born in the back end of a pantomime horse My papa at the front – demanded a divorce Mama would do whatever she could Then I joined the Tories, starving children makes…


Broken Down Freight Train

  There’s a broken down freight train, somewhere near Carrbridge and it’s blocking the line to Inverness But that stationary train ain’t as broken as my heart, babe, my life’s rolling down the tracks to…


The Price Of Tripe

  Spam is cheap and so is liver You eat all you can but you won´t recover But if you want a bang for your buck Try the lining of a cow’s stomach The state…


I Am The Fly

After a fly on Mike Pence stole the VP debate, here’s a reminder of how Obama handled a similar situation:   Obama You’re in my sights, you think I’m confused But I’m waiting for the…



My Spreadsheet Is Full

  I’d like to set the records straight But the tables won’t participate They’re filling up and so am I My IT skills will not comply I’m only trying to track and trace But I…


Fuck Christmas

  Fuck Christmas and fuck Santa Clause I’m working my ass off and now the virus Has me and my hubby too Give me a fucking break and fuck the children too   from the…


Six Months Later

In a world where nothing is normal anymore, The Meatless have come back after six months in isolation to update some old tunes with original new (very short) versions. Track listing: Six Months Ago We’ve…


When Will I Be Ruth Davidson?

  Yes, you’re suitably at one With The Scotsman and The Sun Yes, you are You’ve read Karl Marx And you’ve taught yourself to dance You’re the best by far But you keep asking the…