Sport

Fucking Dancing Horses

  Olympics time Time to shine Fucking dancing horses, what is that all about? If I hear the word dressage again I’ll hurl First off it is boring Who the hell is scoring these jiggly…

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Skelped

  When you get to the Euros and get knocked out in the final It’s a long way back to the urinal When you realise that football isn’t coming home No no no Do you,…


Andy Murray

As Andy Murray battles through yet again, here’s an old cheesy classic from the archives: He’s eloquent and witty He’s a Scot and he’s a hibby Andy Murray Andy Murray He’s beaten Roger Federer And…



Shite Rabbie Burns

  If you go down to Leicester Square There’s a statue of William Shakespeare there Last weekend if you had a listen It came in for some unique literary criticism The tartan army were not…


Rio

  His name is Rio – Rio Ferdinand He’s never been this confident about England He can’t wait to get off here And ring the victory bells England are gonna win I can’t see anything…


Ukraine

  There’s no place I’d rather be Outside of society You take my breath away Especially Kiev, eh? Are you Euro’s heroes/zeros? Who knows? Ukraine What drives the people insane Is saying The Ukraine There’s…



If I Could Hold You In My Hands

The Czech Republic entry in the Reckless Eurovision Song Contest. A tambourine- led tearjerker dedicated to a pet hedgehog. by Mila Chalupa   When I see your pointy nose I just want us to be…


Just Take The Knee

  Well there’s so many Scottish Euro tunes By people who’ve never listened to Marquee Moon It’s such a drag But I’m not here to slag off the people doing that, eh? I’m here to…