1979
Intriguing cover. I did have a portable black and white telly like that, but I’ve no clue what the rest of it’s all about. A mixed bag of tunes and styles in an attempt to break away from the punk sound. There are a few surprising little jolts and sidesteps, although it’s still mostly all major chords. I only really remember rehearsing ‘Graph Paper,’ which is a comment on the smart arseyness of some poseur types at the time messing about with new fangled ‘synthesisers’ and ‘computers.’ Nice ironic touch doing it in a Dr Feelgood style. Possibly played that one live with The Pedestrians. Can’t recall if anything else here was played live at all. It was a time which is now loosely labelled ‘post-punk’ but which we saw as a breaking away by the Art School crowd, so we could be a bit sniffy about it. I do remember our guitarist at the time, Steve Graham, saying to the audience at one point, ‘We messed that up. That was art.’ Only track left off from the original cassette is ‘Safe And Easy’ which is boring.
Sweet Revenge (Remastered)
Ooh, teenage rebellion. Must’ve had a row with mum and dad. Threatening to run away to London again.
It’s such a sweet revenge, it’s such a sweet revenge
You’re my ticket to London
Hey daddy come and fix my rattle
It doesn’t make a pretty noise
Oh please don’t hit me with the lamp stand
I’m too small to spit in your eyes
Oh father please lend me some money
I know you have some stashed some place
Your snide remarks are not so funny
Now I can blow smoke in your face
It’s too late to raise your daughter
She will hate you just the same
I may fix the brakes on your car
But I will not take the blame
Original recording:
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Second Nature (Remastered)
Here comes that ‘experimental’ phase I was talking about.
Everytime I walk I look behind
I put on my watch, must know the time
I don’t need to smoke, what is it for?
You laugh at my jokes – second nature
Second nature, second nature
Second nature, second nature
Second nature, second nature
Second nature, second nature
I get out my bed – 7 o’clock
The alarm clock’s dead – couldn’t give a fuck
Wash behind my ears – oh what a chore
Have a drink and say cheers – second nature
God I hate this song – what’s it about?
It goes on too long – let’s finish now
But it’s still a bore – oh what a chore
Stop the rot – second nature
I went too far
1,2,3,4 second nature
Original recording:
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Don’t Talk To Charlie (Remastered)
Nothing to do with cocaine. Nothing to do with anything really.
Living in the same world as Charlie, yes it’s
Living in the same room is hardly better
Sharing all the same tastes as Charlie, its a
Living hell at slow pace and all I say is
I’m alright, don’t talk to Charlie
Splitting up the same world as Charlie, yes it’s
Splicing up the same room is even better
Arguing about tastes with Charlie, it’s a
Living hell at fast pace and all I say is
I’m alright, don’t talk to Charlie
Sharing all the same tastes as Charlie, its a
Living hell at fast pace and all I say is
I’m not right, you can talk to Charlie
Original recording:
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Last Hope (Remastered)
A valiant, but ultimately messy attempt at fusing, punk, funk and reggae.
Of vital love or brick and blood
Stone hate, oh who can wait
Vital love, vital love,
Vital love, vital love
Oh put the sheep out to graze
Lovers look, lovers hate
Vital love, vital love,
Vital love, vital love
Many people gave it up
Not a chance of making up
Friends were saying you can’t cope
Lust, lust, last hope
The last chance to wait
You’ll find out sooner about that stone hate
Oh when will you find out that you are sick
Oh don’t listen to the advice of others
Who think that they know
Of vital love, vital love,
Vital love, vital love
Original recording:
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Graph Paper (Remastered)
In which my Luddite tendencies emerge… Later updated to ‘No Musos‘ on the 40 Odd Years Of The Fall album.
Have you got any figures on that last read out
I think my synthesiser’s blown a 16 amp fuse out
We’ve still to plug the drummer in from last night
That last short circuit gave the singer a fright
Graph paper, graph paper
Graph paper, graph paper
Our computer manager owes us 600 chips
I fell on top of a pile of records
I think we’ll use that sound at the next gig
Graph paper, graph paper
Graph paper, graph paper
And our typical tuned in fan is lying
Face down in his room
He’s got all his lights turned out
He’s in ecstatic gloom
Graph paper, graph paper
Graph paper, graph paper
Original recording:
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I Wanna Collect (Remastered)
I think the intention here was to do a subtly underplayed Ramones style tune. Getting bored with the fuzz now.
You can handle the business
You can carry the blame
You can take half the earnings
Put the lawyers to shame
But I wannna collect
Some call me a scrounger
Cos it’s easy to earn
When you work in an office
You’ve got nothing to learn
I wannna collect
So you ask me how I can
Go out every night
When I’ve not found a job yet
I get along alright
I wannna collect
Original recording:
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Ring Me Regardless (Remastered)
A sort of wry comment on dull suburbia. Or something.
It would seem right to stick to the faithful routine
It would harm us to change it, you know it could mean
We’d be lost
So tonight if I’m not home, don’t phone up the work
Cos the car’s maybe broke down or maybe it’s worse
If you phone
Ring me regardless if I am not home
Don’t tell the neighbours I’m still on parole
I will catch up on reading by going to school
You can tell the relations I’m training to be
A G.P.
I hope you’ve not thrown out my one magazine
I keep it for Sundays in case of the rain
And the snow
Original recording:
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War Wounds (Remastered)
I dunno. Something to do with con merchants?
Who has lost his wage in a betting shop
Who has made a futile bribe to a cop
And made your late entry
Who has made a living out of old war wounds
Trying for allowances but far too soon
And maybe get away
Rented a driver, rented a driver
Rented a driver, rented a driver
I have tried the oldest trick of poverty
But it never really seems to work with me
They suss me out too soon
Original recording:
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Party Pieces (Remastered)
Bit of a fictional bitchfest. Walk On The Wildside for Fifers if you will.
You’re an ugly bastard Michael
We think you’re degrading
You have ruined nature’s cycle
Others think you’ve made it
Don’t we all fall prey
Conform eventually
Norman Normal’s gave up speaking
He has zero drive left
Doesn’t wish to get acquainted
Or be sociable yet
He won’t dissolve into conformity
Someone else is sponging every day
Jack paid 12 pounds for a perm
Thinks it looks so natural
Checks his small output of sperm
Very matter of factual
Advertised in Woman’s Own
Judy needs Libido
Call and confirm on the phone
Sorry no-one is home
There’s a malfunction out on the junction
Caught in the window, air running out slow
If someone talks I will listen, but not really
Hear necessarily, unless you’re similar
Unless you’re similar
Unless you’re similar
Unless you’re similar
Original recording:
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The Flit (Remastered)
Daft look at life in the country before it was fashionable.
And so the city moves into the country
Dragging along with it uncivilisation
The trees have fallen here, the grass is blacker
And there’s less chance of dad having a heart attack
City dwellers see
Life in the country
They’ve got a cottage with a scenic view
Sonny complains that there is nothing to do
He’s bored listening to them talk about crops
Cos out in the country there’s no Top Of The Pops
Mother’s getting sick of milking the goat
Dad laps it up in his new Harris Tweed coat
He says the farm is steeped in history
Mother hates the stench in the country
Original recording:
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Prince Trousers (Remastered)
Ha! Pick a prince, any prince. Unsubtle attack on fawning royalists.
Prince Trousers is coming, so be aware
You might think that you’ve nothing to wear
But it doesn’t matter, he’s broad minded
Anyway, he won’t see you or even care
Royalty, royalty hanger on, hanger on
Royalty, royalty hanger on, hanger on
She’s a groupie to Prince Trouser’s cause
She sticks to the great monarchic laws
Press cuts of Prince Trousers adorn her room
She hopes to touch Prince Trousers very soon
Royalty, royalty hanger on, hanger on
Royalty, royalty hanger on, hanger on
The royal walkabout is coming our way
Mixing with the minions, he gives a wave
Now she’s getting wet cos he looked her way
Because her flag was in an unconventional place
Original recording:
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The Bottle (Remastered)
If this is a metaphor for courage, then I’m an alkie’s uncle.
I’m standing inside
A new way of Life
Where plastic is dead
The bottle is dry
Container of milk
Or water and pills
The alcohol store
And peanut butter
Last in line, glass is easy to break
Cheap to store, you can’t make a fake and you know
The jar is so small
Take jam but that’s all
Decanters for wine
But the bottle’s just fine
Now the bottle is dry
Original recording:
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Carbon Copies (Remastered)
A painful paean to originality and the lack thereof, obviously written under the influence. See also ‘The Bottle.’
To be taken from the shelf is a forgery itself
Better left upon the wall, let it gradually fall
Carbon copies on the wall
Line the streets and watch them fall
Indecent, in descent
Carbon copies on the wall
Come and take them, come and take
Go and make them, go and make
Carbon copies on the wall
Indecent, in descent
Carbon copies on the wall
It’s not hard to come to terms
Making petrol from dead worms
After all, we all agree
Batman is great company
Carbon copies on the wall
Original recording:
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Stay Back (Remastered)
An attempt to capture my claustrophobia and unease in crowded places. Allegedly.
Getting nearer home, walking fast
Crowd coming my way, won’t get past
Feel shut in
Rush hour traffic time blocks the road
Want to cross the street, heavy load
Feel shut in
People on this side block the way
Can’t step off the kerb, have to stay
Feel shut in
Don’t you step in my way
Help those crowds stay back please
Original recording:
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And the hits just keep on coming. Gone full pelt on the tacky design this time. As the title suggests, I’ve put the arch post-punk stuff mostly on hold here and gone for a more party vibe. Guess I was reacting to the moody dark stuff emerging on the ‘scene.’ Styles include rockabilly and pop with a hint of goth. Eclectic ain’t in it, but weirdness and an inability to keep my guitar in tune is. No matter. Not entirely convinced any of these tunes ever found their way out of my bedroom. There may have been rehearsal try outs of some of them, but of all these songs, the only one I can remember doing live is ‘Americanised.’ I was a fully fledged Voice Toy by this stage. I think. I remember going for an interview at Bruce’s Record shop in Kirkcaldy and when Bruce Findlay asked me what my group was called, he thought it was a cool name. It comes from a misheard lyric from the Michael Jackson song- ‘Get up, we’re the voice toys, don’t stop till you get enough…’
Moon Dip (Remastered)
I invented a brand new dance craze!
At the moon dip, moon dip
At the moon dip, moon dip
Squirming on the floor, heads dropped to one side
Never miss a step and they’re still doing the hand jive
At the moon dip, moon dip
At the moon dip, moon dip
Copied movements from last week’s Revolver show
But we’re not sheep are we, we’ll ride this wave and flow
I started last week’s brand new dance
Original recording:
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Cutting Down On Conflict (Remastered)
Oh right enough, this is the year Thatcher got elected eh?
What happened to the angry eyes
Who now just make a compromise
They rebelled with the world as it stands
Today less speech and less demands
They’re cutting down on conflict
What a turn around
No more axe to grind
Just a mumbled sound
What happened to the angry eyes
Who now just make a compromise
They rebelled with the world as it stands
Today less speech and less demands
They’re cutting down on conflict
What a turn around
No more axe to grind
Just a mumbled sound
What’s your main worry now?
Original recording:
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Only If It’s Free (Remastered)
Freeloading wastrel that I was. Probably in a dole queue at the time.
I’m waiting in a queue
They tell me what to do
When I get to the top
They’ll send me to a shop
Don’t charge nothing to me
Only if it’s free
I’ve got to make demands
Try another stance
Allowance for my clothes
So everybody knows
I’ll need some company
But only if it’s free
I’m waiting in a queue
They tell me what to do
When I get to the top
They’ll send me to a shop
I’ll need some company
But only if it’s free
Don’t charge nothing to me
Only if it’s free
Original recording:
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Character Sacrifice (Remastered)
A job interview where I examine the masks we wear in public.
And every step you take’s a
Character sacrifice
You listen with intent
You build yourself up nice
Cos it’s an interview
And you must plant this job
Know your surroundings and say
The right thing on the spot
Character sacrifice, character sacrifice
Character sacrifice, character sacrifice
The personnel man picks on
Your references to date
He’ll look you up and down
Tell you to have your say
Look your man in the eye
Ask him what is the price
You have to act the part
Character sacrifice
Original recording:
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The Fatted Calf (Remastered)
Seize the day vibe going on here in some weird ritualistic kind of way.
Slice me off my half
Let’s toast the fatted calf
We’ll open up today
Something must give way
Anyway you want, choosy I am not
Fatted calf shall stay
Who shall bear the sow, carve my slice right now
We must celebrate
Anniversary
Everyone’s happy
Don’t sulk in in the corner
Come join with us all
Original recording:
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Gin Rummy (Remastered)
A slow number. Laid back woozy nonsense.
I need a kind alibi
No sympathy, I could cry
Don’t want to dissociate
I’ll complain until late
When the light’s dark to me
And you play Gin Rummy
It’s so easy to hide
When you’ve found your disguise
Kill the moths and the flies
That all gather to see
You playing Gin Rummy
Original recording:
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Third Man (Remastered)
Where I obviously thought Norman Greenbaum sounded like a typical name for a bit part actor in the game of life.
Waiting for a decent part
An actor with a golden heart
He’s the third man
He’s the third man
He says his line when in a film
The cast at the end always says that
He’s the third man
He’s the third man
Norman Greenbaum, Norman Greenbaum
Norman Greenbaum, Norman Greenbaum
He’s the third man
He’s the third man
Original recording:
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Where Was You Bred (Remastered)
My problems with small talk continue…
Down to homely bar, meet the nicest Joe
Start a conversation but he’s talking of the weather
Now he’s telling me his jacket’s imitation leather
And so he’s dragging on about how prices have near doubled
Informing me again about his sister’s latest trouble
Quite a conversation stopper
Where was you bred
Said I was a teenybopper
Where was you bred
Actually I started life inside a cosy warm place
From the womb my mother did not like the look on my face
Now nicey Joe is saying how irrelevant I am
God he is an unbearable intelligent man
Quite a conversation stopper
Where was you bred
Said I was a teenybopper
Where was you bred
I ain’t gonna catch you when you fall
Original recording:
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You Make Me Yawn (Remastered)
Seems to be a running theme of feeling left behind and overcompensating with snideyness going on here.
Well, well, well, you’ve found your perfect lifestyle
You used to be so mad, it seems you’ve shyed down
The trouble is you love you and it shows through
Now you’re just content to pose and look good
Seems to me you’ve grown up
Oh oh oh
Seems to me you’ve died
Oh, oh, oh
You’re in love and smart now
Oh, oh, oh
Hope your kids grow up fine
Oh, oh, oh
Now you claim you move in higher circles
Mixing at smart parties, wear the right clothes
Desperately making conversation
You’ve really got us all yawn, yawn, yawning
Ah, ah…
Seems to me you’ve grown up
Oh oh oh
Seems to me you’ve died
Oh, oh, oh
You’re in love and smart now
Oh, oh, oh
Hope your kids grow up fine
Oh, oh, oh
Original recording:
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Americanised (Remastered)
An early rebuttal of all things tartan and shortbread.
Singing with revenge – a U.S. accent
I love your confidence, but where’s your voice went
You used to say och aye, a little Gaelic
And you were proud of that, you wouldn’t change it
You’re so Americanised
You’re so Americanised
You’re so Americanised
Oh what a patriarch, you were so loyal
You wore a tartan scarf – you kissed the soil
The thing I hate is kilts, heather and scotch stew
But I never dreamed that you would change too
Now
You’re so Americanised
You’re so Americanised
You’re so Americanised
Original recording:
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I’m So Conservative (Remastered)
The politics of consenslessness.
I just want all things to be
I don’t want all things to be
I want everything I get
I don’t want anything yet
I’m so conservative
I’m so conservative
I’m so conservative
I’ve got curtains on my window
I haven’t got a dog at all
I’d like to buy some glossy mag
Imitation leather bag
I’m so conservative
I’m so conservative
I’m so conservative
Original recording:
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Glenrothes Remains (Remastered)
Yet another song about Glenrothes. Of course, it’s completely changed now.
Glenrothes remains
Totally unchanged
In the youth club hall
The balding manager calls
How do you think it feels?
In the kingdom shops
While we spend our days
Here’s the heavy squad
To beat you for your wage
How do you think it feels?
Only 14 and you’re mildly dependent on drink
And you’re too confused to think
Glenrothes remains
Remains
Original recording:
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More Party Pieces (Remastered)
Anti-social awkwardness at large.
It’s no-one’s party
Least no-one that I know
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
It’s only started
And we’re all getting stoned
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
With any luck, we’ll catch pneumonia
And if I don’t, I can always phone ya
The conversation is at it’s lowest ebb
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Everyone’s staring at the walls instead
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
With any luck, we’ll catch pneumonia
And if I don’t, I can always phone ya
It’s half eleven and now we’re having fun
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Hey, come on over before you miss the fun
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
With any luck, we’ll catch pneumonia
And if I don’t, I can always phone ya
What a shame, the party’s over
What a shame, the party’s over
The party’s over
Original recording:
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Waltzer Cartoons (Remastered)
A trip to the Links Market!
Here’s the matinee
Here’s the sandy sea
Waltzer cartoon time
Flash and romance
Lots of reds and pies
Bright balloons and skies
Waltzer cartoon time
Bugs Bunny
Comic strips
Whizzer and Chips
Plenty laughs
Stars autographs
Now it’s neon town
Oh the brassy clown
Waltzer cartoon time
Foghorn Leghorn
Original recording: