Politics


There’s No Press Here

  I saw him today in a hospital Being told he had wrecked the NHS By a man who accused him of deception But he just lied to him and said there are no press…


Scottish Political Anoraks

  Here are the clinical Unpolished facts For Scottish political anoraks Outside your bubble Nobody cares That you’re taking the trouble To split bawhairs Oh relax, don’t do it, when you want to retweet it…


Boos, Boris, It’s Boos

  Boos, Boris, it’s boos That’s what you are hearing We can’t hear the news For all of the jeering Even in the countryside The cows don’t go moo It’s boos, Boris, it’s boos Always…


Fuck Off Scotland

  Fuck off Scotland, off you fuck Off you fuck You whinging Jocks We’ve had enough of your socialist paradise Engerlund is twice as nice So fuck off Scotland Off you fuck Fuck off Scotland,…


Ride A Black Swan

  There’s a Black Swan circulating around Whitehall Giving everyone the fear It is more brutal than the Yellowhammer It’ll break your arm if you let it near Wear a tin foil hat like they…


Brexit’s Yellowhammer

  A political pundit met a physical Bullingdon bully Asking quite politely if they could read A summary So they printed a sterling work of literature Called Yellowhammer Six whole pages, without any pictures Oh,…


Stop Prorogation

  Stop prorogation In the name of the supreme court Boris, Boris, I’m aware of what you do Each time you hear a ‘Boo!’ I know you’re in No.10 Meeting your other love again But…



Please Leave My Town

  If you happen to meet Boris in the street You can always go Please leave my town When you’ve got worries, just noise up the tories Seems to help, I know Please leave my…