Politics






When Will I Be Ruth Davidson?

  Yes, you’re suitably at one With The Scotsman and The Sun Yes, you are You’ve read Karl Marx And you’ve taught yourself to dance You’re the best by far But you keep asking the…


Jimmy Hats

  The tourist board sell Jimmy hats A tartan bunnet with ginger hair hanging out Oh, you wanna buy some Jimmy hats I blame Russ Abbot – he fills me with dread Cut off his…


Tractor Porn

  I drove my tractor through your haystack last night Fnarr fnarr I made a film of it and it turned out alright But some guy in the house of commons watched it online And…


Nadine

  I was shopping on the internets in my boxer shorts Electronically excited to exercise my sports I bought a bat and shuttlecock, I’m fully equipped All I need now is a tennis pitch Nadine,…


Thixotropic

  Thixotropic Westminster A criminal cartel Public school mafia Morally bankrupt as well There’s no written constitution So they can just do as they please A thick viscous solution Bringing the country to its knees…