Most Popular


Halfway Down The Steps

  Halfway down the steps is a step where I sit There isn’t any other step quite like it I’m not at the bottom, I’m not at the top So this is the step where…



The Declaration Of Arbroath

  It’s about time we had another national holiday Christmas, Easter and New Year are so passé The 6th of April sounds good to me When Bernard of Kilwinning tried to set us free He…


Mike Oxmells

  Mike Oxmells Says I’m lyin’ And I’m losin’ control But the power I’m supplyin’ Is electrifyin’ You’d better wake up I am Douglas Ross But nobody knows my name Not even my boss He…


Flag Shagger

  If you are going on TV Make sure everyone can see A giant picture of the queen And a union jack the size of Aberdeen Making up for your inadequacy With a piece of…


We’re Not A Racist Family

  We’re not a racist family No siree siree siree We’re not a racist family Check out our whiter than white history Everyone can see that we’re normal As we rule your lives And we’re…


Fairweather Bootlicker

  He’s a fairweather bootlicker* Get it together dickhead, whoa He’s in love with Meghan Markle He don’t like his boring job, no He’s a fairweather bootlicker Get it together dickhead, whoa He’s in love…



High Horses

  Watching poor tories Suffer again Now they’ve decided That they are in pain False victimhood babies Say they can’t admit They are conservative Without taking a hit On their High horses Getting carried away…