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Hey Ted Chippington!

  I was walking down the road the other day and this bloke came up to me and said, I wonder what it would’ve sounded like if Mark E Smith and Ted Chippington did a…



Braemar

  The last time I was in Braemar it wisnae freezing We were driving along a single track road When a jeep came along, we saw the queen was driving So we pulled into a…


Cowdenbeath Goth

  At Cowdenbeath Goth Friday domino winner Was Robbo Jock Moran was disqualified A sinner He chapped when he could play And wee Jimmy Izzat was grannied Wullie Smith had hard lines The rest o…



Mutations Of Concern

  Mutations of concern Mutations of concern Into this house were born Into this world were thrown In parliament he Is the death secretary Mutations of concern There’s a killer on the loose Aboot this…



Non Essential Journey

  So hard to find the inspiration To say 100,000 And try to sound as if you really care And your jokes don’t make me laugh They only make me feel like dying and in…


If Burns Was Alive Today

by Janey Godley   Here’s a reply to the laddies For you know men urnae aw baddies There’s many things that women can do That men cannae Like gie birth while wearing false eyelashes While…