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The Wheel Is Older Than The Wall

  I know more about history than anyone So here’s a history class I’m gonna teach you a lesson Get medieval on your ass Before they invented rocks and stones Before they invented steel Cavemen…


Babybel’s Angels

  Some people say that Bristol councillors are yokels Lookin’ for to bring about a fast food ban As motorcycle gangs are terrorising locals After being fed cheese toasties from a van Lock up your…


She Sells Brexit

  Red lorry, yellow lorry Parking on a runway Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled Brexit It’s insane Little Billy Brexit Won’t eat Greggs shit If he sees a vegetable he decks it He’s…


Give Peas A Chance

  Every cunt’s banging on about parsnips and all that Every cunt’s banging on about parsnips and all that Parsnips, parsnips, parsnips Every cunt’s banging on about parsnips and all that, so All we are…



Nanny Is A Nazi

  I am Jacob, look at me I’m fwom the nineteenth centuwy I know Latin, I know Gweek That mummy May has got a cheek She said that I was a big baby But it’s…


Raking Bad

  The President of America met the President of Finland The President of America met the President of Finland Apparently they talked about raking the forest floor But one president said the other was just…


Man Spider

R.I.P. Stan Lee ManSpider, ManSpider, does whatever a man can, Spreads his legs, when he sits Explains why you’re wrong and looks at your tits Look out, here comes the Man Spider Is he wrong…