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Tractor Porn

  I drove my tractor through your haystack last night Fnarr fnarr I made a film of it and it turned out alright But some guy in the house of commons watched it online And…


Nadine

  I was shopping on the internets in my boxer shorts Electronically excited to exercise my sports I bought a bat and shuttlecock, I’m fully equipped All I need now is a tennis pitch Nadine,…


Naebdy Telt Me

  Well, everybody’s talking and splitting bloody hairs Everybody’s breaking rules and no one really cares There’s matches in the commons, just below the stairs Always something happening and nothing going on There’s always something…


Little Rishi

    It smells a little fishy Oh my little Rishi Smells a little fishy When your wife’s non-dom* You don’t have to work hard You can get a green card Lie until you get…



Don’t Fear IKEA

  I love big tables And ancient fables Russians don’t fear the reaper But for some reason we fear Ukraine We can be like Stalin Get a table extension (get it from IKEA) I always…


Liz Truss’s Helmet

  Liz Truss’s helmet says Liz Truss is busy Too busy to come to the phone Liz Truss’s helmet says Liz Truss is tryin’ To start a new life of her own Liz Truss’s helmet…


Big Jet TV

  Unofficial theme tune for Big Jet TV.   see also: Storm Doris (She’s Got Harry Lauder Eyes) Ophelia


Nicholas Witchell

  He cowers in London Nicholas Witchell Royalty watcher, sycophant Kowtowing in London Nicholas Witchell Ingratiating and creepy as hell He’ll even defend Prince Andrew, what’s that all about? Gawd ‘elp us when the Queen…


God Save Our Quids

  God save our gracious Queen Although it’s quite obscene Twelve million quid Saving her noncey son From pros-e-cu-tion While there’s a smoking gun Tw-elve mill-ion quiiiiiid   words: Craig Smith @Smicht    see also:…