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Mike Oxmells

  Mike Oxmells Says I’m lyin’ And I’m losin’ control But the power I’m supplyin’ Is electrifyin’ You’d better wake up I am Douglas Ross But nobody knows my name Not even my boss He…


Flag Shagger

  If you are going on TV Make sure everyone can see A giant picture of the queen And a union jack the size of Aberdeen Making up for your inadequacy With a piece of…


Fairweather Bootlicker

  He’s a fairweather bootlicker* Get it together dickhead, whoa He’s in love with Meghan Markle He don’t like his boring job, no He’s a fairweather bootlicker Get it together dickhead, whoa He’s in love…



High Horses

  Watching poor tories Suffer again Now they’ve decided That they are in pain False victimhood babies Say they can’t admit They are conservative Without taking a hit On their High horses Getting carried away…




Braemar

  The last time I was in Braemar it wisnae freezing We were driving along a single track road When a jeep came along, we saw the queen was driving So we pulled into a…


Cowdenbeath Goth

  At Cowdenbeath Goth Friday domino winner Was Robbo Jock Moran was disqualified A sinner He chapped when he could play And wee Jimmy Izzat was grannied Wullie Smith had hard lines The rest o…