My sister in law’s ex husband’s nephew, we love you
My sister in law’s ex husband’s nephew, we do
Though you may be far away
We think of you

There’s no one quite like my sister in law’s ex husband’s nephew
I know you will agree
That he always is a friend to you
And he’s a friend to me
There’s no one quite like my sister in law’s ex husband’s nephew
He’s at Pembroke College Cambridge
I’ve sent him £20 in a birthday card
I hope he doesn’t burn it in front of a homeless

from the album Straight Bananas by Tommy Mackay. Listen here