Ziggy Sturgeon
People stared when she joined the SNP Everybody called her a nippy sweetie But Nicky rose above them at the referendum And re-invented herself as Ziggy Sturgeon She wasn’t on the right She wasn’t…
Articles by Tommy Mackay
Fly Bonny Boat
See that bonny boat like a bird on the wing Floating near Banff in the sky Bending the light, it’s a form of mirage Known as Fata Morgana Isn’t science wonderful? Things are not…
Pearl Clutchers
Pearl clutchers They are outraged and easily triggered Everything’s toxic Pearl clutchers God knows how they have lasted in this life My job is entertaining folks Singing songs and telling jokes And fucking swearing…
Anas Sarwar
Anas Sarwar – wotcha gonna do? ‘Redistribute the wealth from the many to the few’ It’s a bold move – only you could Pull off a reverse Robin Hood How many gaffes can one…
Sarah Smith
I saw you on the BBC An apple fell far from the tree Sarah Smith I wonder what you could mean You said Nicola Sturgeon enjoyed the opportunity To set her own lockdown rules…
He Only Killed One Journalist
The Saudi Arabia crown prince He gives me loads of cash I’m not the person to convince He might be a little rash Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this? Are you…
The Sensational Alex Salmond Band (in Russian)
As Alex Salmond hosts a show on RT, here’s a reminder of the theme tune to the Sensational Alex Salmond Band in Russian. And here’s the English translation: We have whisky for breakfast Fuck…
Gray Day
In 1982, Janine Jock McLeish’s fantasy Has him conjuring up scenes Some people would call obscene It’s well past midnight As he lies In a semi-conscious state And dreams of Superb, Big Momma And…
Awry
There was a time I looked up to people Then I grew up and looked down on people Then I thought everyone was equal Except you and you and you and you Now everything’s…
High Horses
Watching poor tories Suffer again Now they’ve decided That they are in pain False victimhood babies Say they can’t admit They are conservative Without taking a hit On their High horses Getting carried away…