Articles by Tommy Mackay

Joy Division Were Shit

  The Jesus and Mary Chain backed by The Tom Tom Club, offer up some musical critique. Sampled from a Belgian interview in 1986:


Top Cunts

It’s a compilation album of tracks from the Daily Reckless featuring everybody’s favourite C word. Tracks: Cuntocracy Boris Is A Lying Cunt Priti – Fey Cunt Jacob Rees Cunt Cuntissentially Cuntish Send In The Cunts…


Too Many Johnsons

  Piece of cake! Ooh Ooh Too many Johnsons living at No.10 Too many reaching for a piece of cake Too many Johnsons – it does not make sense Too many – give us a…


Fercalicious

  What happens now? The fercalicious definition is to make our planet cooler So listen up y’all cos this is it The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission Better known as the F to the E to…


Chain Gang

  I saw a picture of you, o-o-oh, o-o-oh In a hi-vis jacket oh my When is it time for you to repay, o-o-oh, o-o-oh Your debt to society But you’re back on the gravy…


Ain’t No Sunshine When He Runs

  Ain’t no sunshine when he runs It’s not warm when he’s around Ain’t no sunshine when he runs And he’s always up his own arse Anytime he’s on TV Wonder this time if he’ll…


Fucking Dancing Horses

  Olympics time Time to shine Fucking dancing horses, what is that all about? If I hear the word dressage again I’ll hurl First off it is boring Who the hell is scoring these jiggly…


Keir Creosote

  Peer of the realm With a nifty line in legalese He thinks he’s both Thelma And her best friend Louise One of these days he will have to find some principles But until then…


Come On Arlene (GBeebies variant)

  We’re the Gbeebies Sounding sad upon your TV screens Cos nobody is listening Our mothers cried They’re embarrassed, who’d blame them? But we’ve grown (we’re grown ups) So grown (so grown up) Now I…


Blame It On The Rona

  Supermarket shelves are emptyin’ And that is quite a bad thing But I’m gettin contradictin’ Reasons why I’ve just been down to Tesco And there’s no shelf stacker go slow The problem seems to…