Articles by Tommy Mackay

Cancelled With Tears In My Eyes

  Cancelled with tears in my eyes I’m going hoarse from shouting my unheard cries Cancelled with tears in my eyes Living out a fantasy that no one hears my replies Oh my, I think…


Maskless And Pointless

  Maskless and pointless The whole of life is pointless and I don’t know what to do with it I don’t know what I’m doing   Updated full fat version of “Reckless And Pointless” from…


Save Live Comedy

Here’s 50 Comedians doing Gavin Webster’s Panda routine…   British live comedy is in crisis – let’s #SaveLiveComedy Sign the open letter to the UK government & arts funders at http://savelivecomedy.co.uk   Here’s the original…


Eat Out To Help Out

  You shall have a fishy on a little dishy Thanks to our wonderful Chancellor Rishi With these vouchers you are really spoiling us But only from Monday to Wednesday, cuz He knows what’ll get…


How To Speak English

  A lesson in how to be fluent in your native language and string words together in a coherent fashion. Please follow and like us:


Neil Oliver

So, farewell then, former president of the National Trust for Scotland and non-historian admirer of David Starkey.   Neil Oliver, Oliver He’s a historian and plonker I think we can all concur He’s definitely a…


There’s No Such Thing As A Border

  There’s no such thing As a border between England and Scotland Well, what’s that thing Called the Scottish Borders? Aggravated, the blonde spare prick Won’t admit he’s blind and thick Jump up bubble up,…


Meep Meep Meep

  I’ll be your Wile E. Cayote I’ll spend a fortune in ACME I will catch that roadrunner I’ll paint a tunnel on a wall Lay seeds and watch him peck And swing down and…


Fucking Press Ups?

  Press ups? Get down on your knees Ya pair of dungarees Fucking press ups? Get a grip ya twats Get some yoga mats Ya downward facing dogs It’s the terror of knowing these cunts…


Margaret Thatcher Y Fronts

  Here come the “free speech” columnists Making profit for their boss Flexing their unsubtle wrists Tossing off some right wing toss In a national newspaper You’ll hear their constant moan Screaming out “Where’s our…