Articles by Tommy Mackay

Ziggy Sturgeon

  People stared when she joined the SNP Everybody called her a nippy sweetie But Nicky rose above them at the referendum And re-invented herself as Ziggy Sturgeon She wasn’t on the right She wasn’t…


Fly Bonny Boat

  See that bonny boat like a bird on the wing Floating near Banff in the sky Bending the light, it’s a form of mirage Known as Fata Morgana Isn’t science wonderful? Things are not…


Pearl Clutchers

  Pearl clutchers They are outraged and easily triggered Everything’s toxic Pearl clutchers God knows how they have lasted in this life My job is entertaining folks Singing songs and telling jokes And fucking swearing…


Anas Sarwar

  Anas Sarwar – wotcha gonna do? ‘Redistribute the wealth from the many to the few’ It’s a bold move – only you could Pull off a reverse Robin Hood How many gaffes can one…


Sarah Smith

  I saw you on the BBC An apple fell far from the tree Sarah Smith I wonder what you could mean You said Nicola Sturgeon enjoyed the opportunity To set her own lockdown rules…


He Only Killed One Journalist

  The Saudi Arabia crown prince He gives me loads of cash I’m not the person to convince He might be a little rash Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this? Are you…



Gray Day

  In 1982, Janine Jock McLeish’s fantasy Has him conjuring up scenes Some people would call obscene It’s well past midnight As he lies In a semi-conscious state And dreams of Superb, Big Momma And…


Awry

  There was a time I looked up to people Then I grew up and looked down on people Then I thought everyone was equal Except you and you and you and you Now everything’s…


High Horses

  Watching poor tories Suffer again Now they’ve decided That they are in pain False victimhood babies Say they can’t admit They are conservative Without taking a hit On their High horses Getting carried away…