Articles by Tommy Mackay


Jocko Euro

  S-C-O-T-L-A-N-D That’s how we spell This wee country From Jedburgh To John O Groats Wake up and smell The porridge oats Are we not Scots? Jocko Homo Are we Lulu? Naw we are no…


100 People

We asked 100 people to name as many ways to live their life by They were gripped with the fear of existence No-one knows why There are people that count Every single amount Of everything…


Imposter Syndrome

  In the midst of our own Pointless ruminations, we welcome the First Minister’s acceptance of her existential crisis through the medium of Bowie… Sartre takes a cigarette, puts it in his mouth He ponders…


The Age Of Reason

People say there’s a little yellow idol To the north of Kathmandu What they don’t say is I’m feeling suicidal Social media is my new glue So take a good look at my selfie My…


Existence

Every morning my alarm goes off at the back of six and I think What the fuck is this? Every morning I join the bus queue, look out for the bus and think What the…


Pointless – the album

When Jean Paul Saltire becomes a contestant on Pointless, the result is… nausea. The most joyfully depressing album you will ever hear… Get it here: Please follow and like us:


Homer’s Morrissey

  I’m now a caricature gammon wankspangle* and heaven knows I’m miserable now I was looking for a sword and then I found a sword and heaven knows I’m miserable now In my life why…


Manic Cuntday

Anas Sarwar asked at the Scottish Parliament: “Does the Finance Secretary, who sets the budgets of this Parliament, understand that means more cunts?” Any excuse to replay that day back in 6th December, 2010  when…


The Vilest Nihilist

  There’s a voice that keeps on calling me In my head – that’s where I live you see Every thought I have don’t matter a jot Whatever I say I am, that is what…